He works in mysterious ways

Life in Recovery
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6 days sober here - almost ALMOST gave in tonight. I didn’t have a bad day. I wasn’t stressed. I got off work and decided to go get a pedicure. While I was there the lady asked if I’d like a glass a wine (my usual). I declined and opted for water instead. An hour goes by, I’m relaxing and decide to go ahead and throw a manicure in as well. I text my fiancé since I’ll be a while longer asking if he’d like me to pick up dinner for us and the kids. We throw around a few ideas and land on one of my favorite Mexican restaurants… which also happens to have really good margaritas. I actually typed to him that a marg sounded good (I haven’t told him I’m trying to stop, joined this app, etc.). He totally said “get one at the bar while you wait for the food!” I sat there for the next 45 minutes, getting my manicure talking myself in and out of that margarita. Maybe I should wait in my car for the food. Perhaps one Margarita wouldn’t be bad. Nah, skip the Margarita. But make a Moscow mule when you get home!! For 45 minutes. I never made a concrete decision and left for the restaurant. It’s 32 degrees outside here, I hate the cold and the closest parking spot I could find to the restaurant was clear on the other side of the strip center. There was no way in hell. So I went home. And ordered us delivery. And here I am… 5 hours later… sober :slight_smile: He works in mysterious ways and I’m very thankful for that tonight.

Sorry for the long post … here’s a fried potato :fries:

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Stay strong remember your doing this for a reason.

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I have been struggling all day myself. It’s like two sides of my mind wrestling with each other. I just keep reminding myself that the one glass of wine I’d have would end up the whole bottle. Then I’d buy another bottle. Then I’d wake up tomorrow morning not remembering shite, most likely not in my own bed, and feeling like hell. Or worse, dead. Because my blackouts aren’t passing out, I’m very active and doing all kinds of weird stuff. I keep telling myself this over and over again and I think I will definitely make it through the weekend.

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Thank you, both! This is exactly why I downloaded this app. An outlet. A community.

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You did really well, it can be so difficult sometimes, but next time you get the urge you can remember that you got past it before :wink: all power to you!

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