Great work mate 
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Struggling massively today, days off from work are probably the biggest trigger. I won’t just give up. I walked in the forest and fields today, reflected on myself and my life, took photos, had coffee in the little cafe overlooking the meadows on the hill, exchanged many “ good mornings “ and “hiyas”. Observed a man running up the hill who shouted to himself “ come on, come on” and saw myself in him. The easiest option is to give in and get drunk. But I won’t look into my own eyes with honesty after this anymore. And got my daughter who is my biggest motivation, even though she is already an adult.
I also observed a man talking to pigeons in the park who was training his tai-chi, I believe. We exchanged smiles and he said that I should come to this park more often. We had conversation. He said he lives in a small flat and sharing with people that’s why he comes to the park. I said I am running from myself. He said : “ No you are not running from yourself. It is you right now”.
Happy Friday everyone. Don’t give up. It’s your duty.
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I forgot to add, it is my day 10!
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There will be good and bad days. Just keep telling yourself the bad days pass and dont pick up that drink. 10 days of hitting to pillow sober is a major accomplishment, be proud of yourself. Im sure you had many bad days while actively drinking as well, we tend to forget that when we are in recovery. Our addict brains try to remember only the good times in active addiction, not all the shit days it brought us. Today’s bad day will pass, hang in there!
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Thank you Mike. I was waiting for a word of support. And you came to support, I appreciate it.
It seems that I was just hungry. After cooking and having dinner I relaxed. Watching a movie and had a nice chat with my daughter.
I find myself thinking that it’s slightly boring because I don’t do many things I would be doing when under influence but I am also doing the things I wouldn’t be doing when I was drinking. And the bad times - you are absolutely right. I feel ashamed of some things that have happened when I was drinking.
Thank you for reminding me this.
Today I took many photos. This is one of them.
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Congratulations on day 10! Hitting double digits is an exciting milestone!
So glad u took some time for urself today. I think u did an amazing job working thru the hard moments. I also gravitate towards nature and movement or a nice coffee at a cafe when Im having a hard day 
Just know that this too shall pass. @Mike_Gee had some great advice also! Its so important to “play the tape to the end”, reminding ourselves of what truly happens when we drink… not just stopping at the “good times” that our minds try to tell us.
Have u ever heard of HALT? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. All of these are known to be reasons for us to crave alcohol. If we are aware of our needs and take care of them, like u did today, the craving reduces
Hope u have a great evening! Enjoy ur 10 days of freedom! There is many more days to come!
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Hi and thank you for your words od wisdom. This feeling will pass, I am sure. I don’t want to start over and over again. I want it to be now and happening. No excuses.
I am sure I need some form of therapy as I just buried inside a lot of trauma from 24 years ago, it all became clear that my drinking was part of it.
Forest gives me calmness, sea gives energy. I charge all my batteries in the nature and I am deeply connected to the nature.
HALT sounds real. But I am not angry, nor tired. I was tired of myself from 10 days ago. I am recovering from the harm I was doing to myself.
Today I asked the GP doctor for blood test form, will check how is my body doing.
One day at a time. Tomorrow is another one and I am working.
Then 3 days off, but all planned to go to with my daughter to the seaside.
Last time I did 17 days and then relapsed. But from the beginning I didn’t see the reason to quit. Now I know the reason - it’s ME.
Much love, Nel
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Nothing wrong with “boring” in early recovery. If you find yourself out and about attending parties or hanging out with friends that’s where all the temptations can come when everyone is drinking, etc. Sometimes much better to stay in on evenings and watch a good movie and eat good food. Find a good support system, im sure there are a lot of females here that will gladly give you their # to talk to them when you are feeling down. The biggest thing that helps my recovery is working out. I mostly lift weights and walk, but any form of exercise really helps the brain heal. You got this!
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