Back with my tail between my legs, feeling ashamed and scared.
Binge drinking has really gotten out of hand, Iām killing myself basically.
Drank on Friday night and pretty much all day yesterday, woke up this morning to half a bottle of vodka left over, poured it down the sink. Iām done with this. I feel terrible, look terrible and Iām scared now.
Need to stay accountable so Iām back here.
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Welcome back.
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Glad to see you back 
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Thank you. 
Reset my counter, please let it be the last time 
Starting on my day 11. I understand that feeling you are having. Most people here do. I have relapsed many times because of that demon in my ear rationalizing to have another drink.
I would suggest trying an AA meeting. The support and anonymity can be very useful tools.
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Welcome back, Jen. Donāt beat yourself up too much. Youāre here and have support. Perhaps a virtual AA meeting may provide some additional support as well during this time.
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Very glad to see you back! 
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Yeah I was thinking of a meeting.
Youāre right I have that little devil in my ear tooā¦ this is how it will go. Few days from now Iāll be feeling better, the weekend will roll around and itll be telling me that I was just being dramatic and I dont have a problem, how could I when Iāve gone a whole week without drinking?? Iāll be bored then get a bottle of vodka and most likely sit at home on my own drinking it. Possibly wake up the following day and start drinking more to get rid of the hangover. Rinse and repeat.
Why I keep doing this Iāll never know.
Iāll end up losing everything or dead.
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I understand you! Here for the first time. Had my first AA meeting and it was just great after 10 years of drinking. For the first time I didnāt felt alone. Iām scary for the future but day by day. Hang in there and know youāre not alone.
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Welcome Iāve only been here a little over a month nice to have you back. Hmm Vodka that one got me everytime. Well any whiskey did it didnt matter get some rest something to eat. I most certainly feel what your saying. Cheering you on!
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All you are gonna get here is thisā¦
Welcome back.
I am SO HAPPY that you are alive and here today.
I am also SO PROUD of you for waking up today and choosing a better way.
We Are all here!
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Welcome home!
Congrats on coming back,
No need to be scared, the longer you stick to soberiety the better you will feel.
We are all here for you.
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Nice to see you, Jen! I swear I was just thinking of you yesterday. 
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Thank you everyone, feeling a little emotional right now. 
Iām sure the people who work in the local shop know me as an alcoholic, itās just a little village hereā¦ its embarrassing, what they must think about me. Iāve even started going to a different shop to buy alcohol so they dont know how much I actually drinkā¦ how has my life came to this??
I know its one day at a time. I had 9 months sober last time so I can do it again.
Didnt even think about drinking by the end of that, only started because of the first lockdown and had my ex living with meā¦ and well its ramped up massively. Its true what they say, in the all you do its pause the tape, when you start back up you end up in the exact same place as you left off, not ājust having a glass now and againā or āmoderatingāā¦ Iām surprised I havent just died in my sleep.
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Go to a meeting instead of drinking. Just try it. The only requirement is being honest with yourself.
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Iām in the uk so full lock down here.
Iām going to try the TS zoom meetings on Saturdays though
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Welcome back. I know how you feel with the rationalizing āI canāt possibly be an alcoholic, I can stop for weeks at a timeā. Then we always end up back where we started, up all night drinking, feeling awful about our choices. Iām not in the UK, Iām in Canada but locked down as well, and lockdowns hit hard. Weāre all here for you.
Iām so glad you came on here instead of drinking today.
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Welcome back,
This has been my longest length of abstinence from everything,
Iāve reset multiple times, fallen out much more than I could ever count, is it easy ah hell no, its harder to admit defeat each time but we do it. Anf we climb out of the ditch and make it a new day. Day one is better than day none
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Hey, you got knocked downā¦ your getting back up. Show yourself some grace today. YOU DIDNT GIVE UPš I know the fellings all to well, being critical of yourself just magnifies how already horrible it feels that first dayā¦ physically & mentally. Take a hot showerā¦ comfy clothesā¦ lots of non alcoholic liquidsā¦ something good on the TV to distract youā¦ and ask God for help. Thatās my recipe.
Oh, and We are all here 4 yaā¦ how could I forget.
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Good to see you back Jen
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