This forum was a big part of my life for awhile. Unfortunately I’ve been losing my battle with alcohol. I’m in a massive depression over losing my wife and no longer living with my son. I know what I’m doing is wrong yet I continue to march down the same path. I’m so lost… so lost.
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Glad to see you back. I’ve been in and out of it as well and can completely relate. So sorry to hear about your son, I know how important your family is to you.
I won’t sit here and lecture you or try and give advice since I’m not walking that path with you, but if you need to chat or commiserate about misery, I’m here. I appreciate the time you come back, even if it’s for a short period!
Thanks girl… you’ve always been my buddy.
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Have u been sober for awhile…?
No, definitely not. I’ve stopped counting when I do add up my days, because it gets too damn depressing. I dont even look at the counter anymore as it stopped being helpful. I get why it can be motivational, but now all I see is a counter ticking down to forever, and forever is big and my time is so small. Lol, maybe that’s just me.
Welcome back. I hope you can find a glimmer of hope to clench. Addiction hurts so bad! I’m sure life hurts too right now. But the only fix you are getting is a short sided numbing. You can do it. It will hurt like a MF’er but drinking it away does too. Best wishes
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I haven’t been in contact with anyone actually…
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Hate to say I’m coming off a huge bender… missed work today cuz I was so sick. I just know it’s time to try and get some sort of control in my life. I’ll never get past this depression if I’m drinking.
Like @Chad_R said, it really only exacerbates the problem. It’s like putting a band-aid on a severed leg. Doesn’t do shit. But I get it. I get how easy it is to reach for that liquor and/or beer because it makes everything go away.
Ha, I love that. I want a shirt that says “my sobriety is less than perfect.” Seriously.
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I think every bit of recovery is sloppy at best. We all wade through the shit trying to find our way out of shit creek. I’m betting no one would describe their sobriety as stellar.
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Thanks brother
@alpine_1975 bro, I’m glad to see your face here again, please stay around and post in the “seeking help category” if you are really struggling , you gotta stop disappearing I miss you on the forum my man. You helped me get through the night I caught my gf cheating on me, that was probably the closest iv came to drinking since I started this journey but u were there. I can’t imagine what your going through with your family right now but know it will never get better if you keep suppressing everything with booz. Just try and remember those clear headed months when u first came here.
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You have been missed. I know from experience it’s so much easier to deal with depression by numbing out. After a while it feels like it’s the only way to cope. It’s really not. You gotta dig deep and believe that you are worthy of love and kindness. We’ve all seen your strength on this forum. Hang in there. Getting help to pull you out of that depression is far better than dealing with it alone, just you and the bottle. You deserve happiness. 
️
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️:heart:️:heart:️ you’re not alone even if it feels like it at times. Tomorrow is a new day. Rest today and don’t beat yourself up.
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@Steve92, thanks my dude. Something has finally snapped in me. I refuse to continue to punish myself like this. I sat in my room for the last two days and drank. Spent all day being sick and confused about how I can choose to live like this. The point is I can’t live like this anymore…
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I can understand this completely. I had 56 days of continuous sobriety early this year. I remember feeling physically better, but was having many personal problems that hindered any real happiness during those sober times. Then my wife decided she wanted a divorce and I’ve been self inflicted tortured soul since February… Anything has to be better than this bro…
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