Well 12 days no drinks. And tonight i have a formal party for my husband’s work, with an open bar. It’s only 1030 in the morning and we don’t have to be there till 5pm. But my mind is just racing. How am I going to do this?! I have made an ass out of my self the last 4 years at this party because the open bar is 5pm-2am and well, it’s free and I can’t stop. I have made the decision that I’m not going to drink already but I need some support. This is going to be the true test. I need to wake up tomorrow proud of myself not hungover. 
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Hi, if i would have been in a place where i coild buy or even wors if it was for free id just not go there, i know im going to drink, im not that strong yet, only been 3,5 days sober but I know it will take a long time until I can socialize amongst alcoholic beverages… so if you feel the slightest doubt that you’re not going to be ble to keep to your sobriety then don’t go, you know yourself and your behaviour better then anyone… Good luck, and I hope your husband will support you in that descition 
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If you must go. I would talk to your husband about leaving after dinner is served. If for some god awful reason you have to stay after dinner I would try to take it as an opportunity to make some sober friends. Trust me there will be people there that are not drinking.
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If it was an option to not go I wouldn’t. But it’s the big event for his work, they do it every year. I bought a new dress and he got a tux. And there is no leaving after dinner. We have a hotel room from his work. They rent out half the hotel and we all stay there so there is no drinking and driving. I know it sounds easy to just say don’t go. But I have to go. He knows I’m not drinking and he is fine with that. I have already packed a book and some comfy pjs I plan to go up after dinner take a bath and read, and relax. I’m not going to drink… But my mind is just driving me crazy. Anxiety will get you every time
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That sounds like a great plan. Your original post made it seem like you were planning on going.
Something I wanted to add. When I was drinking my thoughts and actions were very self centered. I thought the world revolved around me and I was the life of the party.
In my early attempts at sobriety I still had those same self centered thoughts. Whats everyone going to think when Im not drinking!?!?
I pretty quickly got a big dose of reality. Most people dont care or notice you arent drinking. If they do notice and you dont want to explain just tell then your on medication and cant drink with it.
If you are still anxious.I would rehearse what you are going to say to people when they ask you if you want a drink. I normally tell them “No Thank You I am ok for now”. If they persist on getting you an alcoholic drink then you proceed with your rehearsed response.
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I will be on here a lot tonight. And thank you for all the kind words and advice. And trust me, everyone knows me as the life of the party too, it’s going to be interesting when I don’t have a beer in my hand. But I’m not that person anymore. I can be fun silly me without beer. And I went one year when I was pregnant, and if you order a ginger ale they put it in the only glass they have behind the bar… A low ball glass. So if I feel like I need to have something in my hand that will be what I will have. Be prepared for updates as my night goes on. 
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I feel a stomach bug coming on…🤷 too soon junior…
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Having something in hand at all times is important.
You said "I’m not that person anymore. I can be fun silly me without a beer. "
I hope you truly believe that. If you do believe it there is nothing that can stop you. Without alcohol we are a better and more authentic version of ourselves.
Its taken me years to believe that but now that I have I won’t turn back to my old thoughts.
Sorry for all the long winded posts… I will definitely be checking throughout the evening to see how its going.
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Thanks so much @Gotno i appreciate all the words of advice. I’ll keep you all that care updated.
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You’re not that person anymore? You have 12 days sober… and there is always an option not to go. You shouldn’t be there . I have seen it so many times not work out because people aren’t willing to do the things that are uncomfortable
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@Clay91 wow… That is so nice of you. Hope someone is nicer to you when your looking for support. Don’t worry I’ll prove you wrong. 
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Why would u dance with the devil when u dont have to? We see post after post of people posting pre event to after. For them to feel shameful that they were not strong enough. The moment will come when u can be around drunks and alcohol. Now isnt that time to test your fate if your serious about staying sober. It will be a teaching if u go or not. You will either relapse or see how triggering it is to be peer pressured by friends and being around it .
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I wish people would have given me the advice that @Clay91 gave you. I would spend as little time there as possible. Unless they are going to fire your husband if you don’t go, I don’t see how you have to? Sounds like the last few years didn’t turn out so well from what you shared.
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Well, guess I shouldn’t have shared anything. Silly me. I thought this was a place to be honest.
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Because it’s so early in your sobriety, if you’re already having anxiety about it, can your husband just tell ppl you’re not feeling well? To be honest I wouldn’t go. I skipped an event recently and I have 35 days- just felt like I was still too fragile. If you are going to go, keep a non alcoholic drink like a Diet Coke in your hand all night so that you can steady your nerves and no one needs to know it’s virgin. 
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Does dinner start at 5? It sounds like you have a plan to excuse yourself after dinner. So you have to not drink from 5-7ish?
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My husbands work throws the same party at Christmas. They rent the ballroom, open bar, super dressy, DJ, etc… so I totally get it. Everyone goes, and it’s a big deal. This year neither of us went!! At first he was worried what people would think, but then at the end of the day we just didn’t care. No one really said anything- they were too busy all getting wasted lol
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Just because it’s not advice you wanted doesn’t mean it’s not right. I was around 60 days my first go around and thought it’d be ok to go on a wine tour. I thought my will power alone would be enough. Well turns out my will power was enough to get me drunk
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See this is why I don’t post on the forums that much I didn’t get clean easier and softer people told me about myself because that’s what I needed. I’m sorry you think I’m being mean I’m not trying to hurt you I’m trying to be honest with you. I actually care about you and want to see you succeed. But people think staying sober is like this fun thing that everyone can do and people just say “be strong you got this! Do whatever you want ! Staying sober is so comfortable and easy. “ But It’s not. staying sober is hard and takes doing shit that sucks. I’m so glad people were there for me and told me uncomfortable things because THATS what it takes. I knew you were going to not like what I said and that I might get called mean
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Hi I’m 13 days sober today and have been doing really well. Yesterday I went for a meal with my 3 grown up sons and their friends for one of my sons birthday’s. I didn’t drink but I found it so hard all of the time I was there to a point I even thought of sneaking to the bar when no one was looking. I felt myself getting more and more down and wanted to go home so after the meal I made my excuses and left, I got home and cried. My partner and my sons said how proud of me they were but I still felt low this morning. It’s too soon for me to be put in a position where drink is all around because even though I feel I’m doing well I still don’t trust myself yet. I’m still feeling like I’m missing out by not drinking at the moment I hope that feeling goes soon.
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