I still feel the need
How long have you been without alcohol?
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This is something drinking only made worse for me. By the end, I drank so often I was caught in a loop. The Groundhogs Day (you know the movie?) of drink.
I felt dull because I’d become dull. And lost in that haze I didn’t really see the good in things anymore.
With some sober time and working a recovery program, it really can improve. Hundreds of sober people on this forum are a testament to that.
The fog does go away, motivation can return. We find more than drinking.
Now I frankly don’t care if I’m being dull or not! Once out of that cycle, so much more becomes clear I’m happy just watching the clouds go by.
And all we gotta do is Don’t drink today, no matter what.
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I have managed a few 50 odd days at a time over the last 7 months
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I love what I am today, I couldn’t care less who I am. Who I am is what other people see but what I am is happy. Make now the moment you stop thinking about your feelings and start being defined by your actions. Imagine how good you will feel when you wake up sober in the morning.
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@Jane66 Take some time to read through more posts on this forum.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, we aren’t unique in this space. Everyone started as a non-user and now we’re here trying to get to that space again. You deserve better than alcohol. Alcohol is poison. That’s not a phrase; it’s science.
I don’t believe for a minute that you think life is better. It could, I guess, be fear that drove you here, but you’ve had access to the forum for a long while. Have you known about these health issues for all of that time?
We’re here to help and you have to do your part, too.
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There is no rational reason to drink alcohol every day. It’s a false euphoria. If you drink every day you are addicted. Alcohol is using your.own.voice in your head to trick you into believing you need alcohol to survive. It tricked me too. The words you’ve written here sound like you are mad at yourself and mad at life. What you should actually be mad at is alcohol. Eff that effing poison!
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If you know you need to stop, but you can’t trust yourself to do so on your own, you could admit yourself to a rehab. That would be the safest way to detox as well, especially since you have existing health problems.
I’m sorry you felt ignored. I can see why you would feel that way. You have to understand, some of us are friends with each other here and we like to lift each other’s spirits with silly posts sometimes. That is part of recovery too, hun. Being a light to someone’s life.
So what can i do to help you? 
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Tell me everything good that comes from drinking. My list would be a big fat zero
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Unfortunately, that’s one of the nuances of the forum. The default view is “latest updated” threads and if there’s people actively typing a reply in several other threads, those threads get bumped up and new threads can get buried in a hurry; we’re not ignoring you by any means! 
This is a tough time of year in one of the collectively toughest years we’ll likely ever see. If you’re not struggling, you might be super human. I can tell you though, the struggle is worth the end result, it just takes time to find those results, like a lot of time! But it’s one hell of journey.
Please feel free to DM me if you need to talk.
I wish you well.
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Hi Jane, and welcome. It took me a while to figure out how this forum worked. I went in just reading things from so many others that I could personally relate to. And even when I first posted, I didn’t expect much and was pleasantly surprised by the warmth of some. Don’t give up on here yet. And don’t give up on yourself. In order for anyone to help you, you need to share more specifics on your personal challenges. Even tho we are all an addict of some type, the nuances of our disorder are completely different. And as many others have said, alcohol is tricking you, and probably has for some time. You will never know who you truly are if you keep it in your life. And you cannot be afraid to see who you are without it. I guarantee you will like yourself more if you stop. It may take a while to adjust, a lot of soul searching and thinking, but aren’t you curious to see who you could be? Once you’ve removed the poison from your body and mind- you can’t hate yourself anymore because of it. Then you can begin to see clearly where these feelings come from. I wish you luck on your journey, please keep reaching out. But first, you need to stop using the crutch.
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Sounds like you have made up your mind. Do you want to stop or are you trying to figure out a way to “drink without consequences?” Go to a meeting of your choice, raise your hand and ask for help. No one is going to work harder than you for your sobriety.
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In order to make an accurate comparison, you must first live some life without alcohol, otherwise, how can you make such a declaration?
I am almost 55 years old. I quit drinking when I was a 21 year old Marine, husband and father. Except for one night before I shipped off to war, I was sober for 9 years. Then my marriage broke up, and I decided to drink again. Barring a few short quits here and there, I drank for the next 20 years. During that time, I remarried, built a new career, a new life, and new family. Sounds good, right?
During that time, I also gained 60 lbs, became borderline hypertensive, and pre-diabetic. I also managed to develop signs of fatty-liver disease. When my mother passed, my drinking took over, and I almost lost everything good in my life.
I have been sober for over 3 years now. I think I have had enough sober time in my life to make an accurate comparison, so I can say this without any reservation: My life is better, sober. I am better, sober.
I encourage you to really try living a sober life, to really see if your life is “better” drinking or sober. We are here to help, but you have to want to do this.
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Wondering how your feeling today. Stick with it. Your worth it!!!
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Am on fifth day and this is the hardest thing i done is to stop my motto was work hard play hard but I’m killing myself today I woke up at 6 in the morning and boil some eggs just to get my mind off of not drinking I don’t have to be at work till 9 all I can say is one day at a time and get yourself on a schedule find something you love to do stick with it stay strong one day at a time
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I’m good thank you. Thanks to all that messaged. Looking forward to a new year of sobriety x
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