Help me please :((

I need help. I struggle with severe anxiety. I also carry so much guilt and shame for what I’ve done while drinking. I’ve been mean to those I’ve loved, cheated, and just overall it made me throw all morals and values out the window. I feel like I don’t deserve love from my partner and I don’t deserve forgiveness. I need help getting over this horrible guilt and shame. It’s killing me. Please share if you can relate or share what’s helped.

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First off, I’m glad you came here! I never experienced anxiety until I became a full blown alcoholic. Anxiety took away my ability to drive. I used to have a CDL and drove my family everywhere. Then my husband had to drive me to job interviews, locally.

I dont know your doc or if you have been treated for anxiety. All I can testify to is the fact that sobriety has given me my life back. I can drive again.

Stick around please. The people here are wonderful and TS is my equivalent to an instant meeting.

I wish you well! We can do this!!

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Why do you think you don’t deserve it?

I cannot change the past but I can decide what I will do today. And what I do today will define my tomorrow. You can ask for forgiveness which does not mean you will get it. First of all you have to forgive yourself.
Anxiety stems maybe from your withdrawal from your doc if it wasn’t there before abusing your doc.

You are not alone with this. When I was some time sober I reflected about who I hurt and asked for forgiveness. I guess it is some sort of inventory and making amends. Then, it is up to them.

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Hi there! Yes, I have dealt with both of these things for years. Alcohol makes the anxiety so much worse. I see an am amazing therapist for dealing with the shame. I also don’t drink and take meds for anxiety and depression. I walk everyday, weather permitting. See your doctors. They can help.

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Yes!!! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!

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I hear you.
As others said, you can’t control what others say or do or how they behave.
A tricky part can be ending the statement there. Yeah, I can’t change what I’ve done - but decide that thought does not lead to “what the hell” and instead leads to doing the next okay thing. You might be surprised how quickly the okay things add up to an amount of time that creates a soothing balm for your sore inward feelings.
i wish peace for you.

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Guilt and shame are so debilitating. I am sorry you are feeling hard emotions so deeply, it sounds painful. I know for myself, I had to learn to forgive myself and to let go of what I could not change…the past. That doesn’t mean I didn’t harm myself or others or my behavior was okay, only that I allowed myself to be human, to make terrible mistakes, to learn from them, to forgive myself and to take responsibility as needed.

All humans are at their heart born innocent with an infinite capacity to love and be loved. We lose sight of our true core often, especially when inside an addiction. But we are all worthy of health, happiness and healing.

I believe learning to forgive ourselves is an important piece of our puzzles of life and our recovery.

We have beat ourselves up mentally and physically for so very long…now and here we can begin the healing process of building our selves back up. We all deserve this gift. You deserve this gift. :heart:

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Thank you so much for your reply. Putting into perspective if it was a friend in the same position helps calm my anxiety about it. Also, thank you for the link, I will definitely take a look and give it a try! I feel so awful and it’s breaking me apart.

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Mel, you got lots of great advice and feedback here. So much experience on this forum. I think we tend to come down so hard on ourselves for the bad things we did while under the influence. But making mistakes, sober or impaired, is part of being human. Learn from the mistakes, if you can, so you don’t repeat them. And it sounds like you would benefit from a visit to your doctor for medication? Wishing you peace.

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I just want to take a minute and say that you are my hero! You are struggling and working you are suffering, but you’re doing it all for a greater goal and IF you reach that goal then all of this will be glorious in hind sight. However if you fail at this goal and you start drinking then this will all further feed into the narrative that you are less than/undeserving… that narrative is not true regardless of whether or not you falter but its important to remember that nothing is guaranteed and it’s your hard work that I am in awe of. So if nothing else, even if the rest of the world looks like it’s about to feed you a plate of shit (and there will be helpings of that in recovery of course), please understand that you are a hero to everyone who is on this path and that your greatness will be shown to you in time. you don’t have to believe me but you can trust me for I have no reason to lie.

Take care

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Yes I do, I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. They have helped me throughout my sobriety, I just still struggle. It’s getting better! I’m going through a big change in my life right now and I think it’s triggering it. I’m a nurse and moving to a new unit, I moved out of my boyfriends and into my sisters, I’m starting my masters program. So overall it’s just really overwhelming and it’s making my anxiety so bad

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A lot of MAJOR change! And your profession!! No wonder the anxiety. You are doing ALL the right things.

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Hey everybody!

It’s @Kdog!

Kevin, welcome back :slightly_smiling_face:

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I would suggest some gentle meditation

It might bring up some emotions, but it is best to experience them if they’re tolerable. Sometimes we can’t control the fight or flight response in our amygdala and as a result, we get panic attacks. I would find some kind of stone or crystal that has smothed edges, and keep it in your pocket as a worry stone.

Have a necklace you can touch, is also helpful

Try listening to some nice Ambient music with nature sounds and just let your mind drift, if you come cross some anxiety, you can explore what might be causing it, or you can choose to continue to drift in consciousness in the meditative state, avoiding anything. Either option is okay, and it does wonders for anxiety. Absolute wonders. :100:

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I hope you are starting to feel much better :hugs::hugs:

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Yeah bro it’s the same kdog, slightly different sn. Always glad to see you. Your kindness, insight and the time you take for others is always appreciated.

C ya :slight_smile:

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Just cause I always thought I needed help cause I was just beating myself up for it now :100: I own it day 1 day at a time this two shout pass for today I missed up it pass just keep going forward that’s what I did.

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