I start drinking as soon as I wake up. When I need to be somewhere either work or school I slam 3 beers and then spend time sobering up, go do my thing and once I’m home I drink again. Still every new day I try to do better and make different choices but I feel like I cant function without alcohol. Afterwards I feel terrible, guilty… but I keep doing it. I dont know how to stop this long term. I’m feeling so sad about this, what do I need to do to make this habit stop. Just quit drinking doesn’t work 
There are medications and CBT. If you really want to stop, take all the help available. This is a great place to get support.
Hang in there. We are here to listen.
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There’s is tons of information available that your can search for on this forum, I see your have had a profile for over two years bit only spent around two hours reading so it’s suggest staffing around threads like daily tips for the struggling newbie and the ones that list the different recovery programmes. Your best chance for success is working a programme like smart or AA as your have realised there’s so much more to this than just putting the drink down. 
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Have you considered rehab? It sounds like it could be a good start for you. I know it feels insurmountable, but it isn’t. I applaud you for reaching out.
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Have you been under stress?
I’ve had this profile a long time, when I started here in the beginning I read a lot and have been going to AA as well and been sober. But I started drinking again, thinking I can have “a beer or 2”. Now I’m back again because I for some reason can’t do 1 or 2, it became more of a priority again.
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Yes so drinking makes things better. But then it doesn’t ofcourse…
What was stressing you out?
That sounds terrifying… I haven’t have that but when I have my first beer I do get a rash on my legs and my stomach gets messed up. Also not fun.
What kind of medications?
I have considered it but its expensive and I cant leave my home, too many responsibilities here.
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It speaks volumes that you wrote today. That’s a great move on your part. I think you already know it’s going to take more than this great forum. Do everything in your power TODAY to not drink. I agree with the good advice given here… At the least going to a meeting will help. Good luck…
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Thank you so much, it feels like awesome support which I need. 
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Oh sorry it’s just that it says on your profile summary that you have spent two hours reading. It sounds like you have tried moderation and have realised it can’t wm work for you so you can get stuck in to abstinence. Have you thought about going back to AA. Do you think that your night need to do a medical detox. If your got yourself sooner before then I’m sure that your have it in your to do it again even if it’s a little harder to achieve this time. I look forward to seeing your days add up. 
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Maybe head back to AA. Anytime you feel like having a drink you can see if there is a meeting. Even if you can’t find a meeting you can find story shares on You Tube. You can say some prayers.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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What is the medical detox? Thank you for your responses 
Thank you I’m considering going back to AA but I think I need more than that. I’ve done it before and it was good when I went but at home theres always drinks and it’s too easy to “talk it right” in my head and eventually grab a drink.
Were you actively attending meetings when you relapsed? If yes…then you’re right, you need something more. If no…then make sure you KEEP going. I know for myself, if I really feel tempted (more than just those thoughts that come and go) I WILL be getting my ass to a meeting.
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They will monitor you in a hospital as you detox off of the booze, I asked because you mentioned that you need to have a drink when you wake up on a morning. Depending on how bad or heavy your drinking is you could be at risk of seizures if you stop on your own cold turkey.
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Not sure what is considered heavy drinking, I usually have between 9 to 12 beers a day (Shock Tops). Or gin when I run out… Being 5"2, 120 lbs I think its kind of heavy. I’ll look into the detox…
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