I was going to meetings, then I started drinking again and stopped going. I think it’s hard to quit when my husband is also drinking daily just as bad as me. I quit he kept drinking, then he quit and I kept drinking. Both quitting would be the answer I know… 
We both know but also enable it in each other.
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If an inpatient rehab isn’t going to work for you, I’d still highly recommend seeing about an Intensive outpatient program (IOP). I’m attending one and have for the last few months. I find it really helps to identify the underlining reasons why we drink to cope.
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That all sound sooooo familiar!!
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I’m no expert but that sounds like it would qualify for heavy drinking. I’m concerned as well that at this point if you try to quit on your own, without medical supervision, you could have some serious health issues. I’ve not been in that position before so I don’t know where you would start to get the help you need. I hope someone on here can point you in the right direction. Best wishes for you & sending positive thoughts your way. Keep checking in here please!
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So quit and stay quit and encourage (not badger) him to quit. The best way to do this is to be better, and show him a better you. He’ll likely want to be better too.