I used Excel (you can use Google Sheets, or a notebook if that’s what you have):
Made a column of debits/debts, categorized them (credit cards, utilities, car, mortgage/rent etc.).
Added the amount (minimum payments for credit cards, average for utilities)
Add the date(s) due
This gave me a list of how much and where our money is going each month.
Then made an income column with our incoming money.
With that, it gave us the difference that we should be saving.
I really didn’t want to look at our finances because if it’s out of sight then there’s no problem, right?
But doing this helped me understand where money is going and helped me make a plan to reduce debt and increase savings.
I started this financial journey almost a year ago and while I am nowhere close to reaching my financial goals, I am 100X closer than I was a year ago, just by opening that can of worms.
There are apps that can help with this too, a lot of banks are building these things into their apps too, that is always an option.
Maybe check out Youtube for inspiration too, I am sure there are a ton of videos on this exact topic!
One thing I’d recommend for later down the line is once you’ve cleared your debt put at least half what you were paying out into a savings account. You won’t miss it and you’ll soon have a good nest egg. I also had two debit accounts (still do) first one my wages go into and all my bills and regular savings apart from groceries goes out of. I then transfer anything left to the second account. I can then spend anything from this account knowing the basics are covered.
The two F words every person in recovery hates the most. Family and Finances. I was probably 2 years sober before I addressed my debt. The hardest amends I had to make were to my parents.
Family and finances. It’s hard. But if you’re sober then you can get through it.
List monthly income and paydays
List bills and due dates
Rent
Utilities
Grocery
Internet
Phone
Streaming services
Debt/loan payments
Recurring bills
Etc
Look at a week or month at a time and see where you can carve out more money to pay debts or build a rainy day fund
Ive apologised many times to my family and friends about the things i did and said in active addiction but id say they only truly came around once i was around a year sober which was fair enough. Finances is a biggie for me…ive always just brushed it off as oh im shit with money… its really only occurred to me recently to say to myself well hang on a minute…how about you educate yourself then Kelly!? Aint nobody gonna do that for u! So here i am
So much good advice, I steal some of it
I keep a monthly journal of expenses and incomes, it really helps to overview where the money goes and why.
What saved me over 1000 euro for this year and reduced my cost permanently: I reviewed all my insurance policies with a new agent and changed & updated most of them to meet my current needs. To get a better planning of my cashflow they are debited once a year from my account all together, for some of the insurances I received a small discount using this payment method.
I further cut down costs last year by cancelling all subscriptions I do not use or need. Identifying them was quite some work on why goes the money where.
What I use every day, not only concerning spending money: Do I need it or do I want it to fill / mask something? That’s especially for me, as I tend to overeat, oversleep, reward myself with consumption or have an idea I “want” to realize. Since I use my sober toolbox - mostly HALT and “sit with it” - there was a massive change in my spending behaviour. I forced and empowered this way from last year on as it is part of consolidating my life. I don’t know if this is helpful, I just wanted to share it as it works really good for me.
Bottom line up front: impulse control. Ensure impulses to satisfy short term desires do not sabotage your own long term interests. Use mint.com for an honest look at your spending habits.
My story: Great topic. I had terrible financial discipline. I racked up 15k on vodka and it’s corresponding credit card interest before I got sober. Getting that paid off didn’t solve my money problems though. I still lived paycheck to paycheck no matter how much money I was making. At first I figured once I made more money I wouldn’t have this problem. But then I made more money and still had the same problem. I finally realized the problem had nothing to do with how much I was making and everything to do with how I was spending.
I did some reflection on this and realized it was very similar to my drinking mentality–which was impulsive and delusional. For example when I was drinking I used to tell myself I could have just a few drinks when the thought would pop into my head. I would then drink. This was impulsive and delusional. Similarly I would see something I wanted to buy, tell myself I could afford it, and then I would buy it. This was also impulsive and delusional. Impulse control is the underlying issue to most problems in my life. I’ve been able to identify impulse purchases and impulse decisions better and better over the years. One rule I use to this day for spending-- if I want something online I can put it in the cart today, and I can checkout tomorrow. Over 50% of the items I put in my cart don’t get purchased since tomorrow I’m able to see the impulsivity of it.
I have taken a lesser salary on two occasions previously to suit my needs and have made deficit up by reversing spending. If you earn mucho and spend mucho you are in trouble. Also using leftovers and mending and not being drawn into commercial advertisement is a really good exercise to get into.
So what you save is actually revenue.
I really ask myself now if I want something, why I want it, do I need it.
Very good point, there is definitely alot of impulsiveness to my spending i know this for certain…ive began to become aware of my impulsive spending since i got sober…at times if im honest ive used it as anogher type of addiction…ive always thought to myself that things would be better if i made more money and wasnt in the situation im in ( single parent working part time and claiming benefits) infact ive used it as an excuse to not face up to things but the truth is i know i make enough and that i need to handle things better to make it all work, i think sobriety and all ive learned from that has given me the clarity and self confidence i need to begin to tackle this
Thank you dearest @erntedank yes its very helpful, i never thought of using halt with regards to spending, i will definitely try that…ive been healthy eating lately to get.my cholesterol down…i have a take away once a fortnight and you know what i actually enjoy it more than if i was eating junk every day…i think i can equate that to spending…if i put money aside that i can afford if i identity something i need then il appreciate it more when i do get it if that makes sense? Its all a learning curve isnt it…difference is im willing to learn now instead of just accepting stuff or feeling sorry for myself
I stopped watching TV and started spending more time reading and being outside. That has helped stay out of advertising which I’m sure plays a role in my new financial habits.
I’ll share another weirdo flaw: I’m obese and buying cloths that look nice & stylish is a lottery. I can go years without finding something suitable so I basically renew my undies and that’s all spending. And I put money aside because when it rains, it pours, in my case in one season I find a filled new wardrobe. This way I’m prepared to buy and relaxed waiting for a good occasion at the same time. Bonus: I don’t spend money on things I never wear
me too. better: I had. I’ve given them all away, as well as everything that doesn’t fit anymore. It was a longer process and very relieving. Still working on not hording too much lounge wear and proud of keeping my limits. One out - one new in.
I have really struggled with sorting my finances since getting sober. I put money on multiple credit cards and took out personal loans. A couple of months ago I emailed my credit card companies and explained I was struggling financially and asked if they could put a temporary hold on my interest for a few months whilst I got myself back on my feet. All came back and agreed straight away. I think I had to call one bank but the person I spoke to was really helpful. So I’m currently making a minimum payment but without the interest, just for a bit. Anyway, it’s always an option to explore and it doesn’t affect your credit rating. Good luck!
