Thank you so much Sassy! I will have a look at Ramsey as i havent yet, i already feel so much better that ive written it all down, im also taking @Chiron suggestion of keeping all my receipts so i can get some proper knowledge of my spending especially with petrol and groceries…hey im starting to feel like a fully fledged adult here 
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So many helpful suggestions here for you!! The book I shared with my friend about 10 years ago now (how time flies) is this one…
Dave Ramsey:
Financial Peace Revisited: New Chapters on Marriage, Singles, Kids and Families
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Thank you so much Sassy, means alot 
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Just want to check in on you @Starlight14 and sending calm and kindness. As I’m continously working on my tasks and talking to people who encouraged me I want to share this with you 
Sending you heartfelt encouragement.
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Dearest @erntedank that kindness is gratefully recieved thank you so much, im doing good…i feel alot better within that ive got things in order and can see what i have and dont have money wise…my budget has already started and im feeling much more content with it, sending love and hugs right back 
hope you are doing well too
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Having your finances clear might be hurting (I’m hurting a lot atm) but it keeps you straight going!
give yourself time and if I may share: allow yourself not having it sorted on first try. the clue is to stay tuned and keep going and doing. setbacks and circumstances you can’t change atm ( you mentioned credit rate, already good advise given 
): for your personal strict short time calculation: ignore them. just a hint to keep the brain structured and focused. it’s the ODAAT principle and the “what you can do is enough for today” put on a daily life issue. Those financial babysteps add up over time, it’s not only about discipline (tiring and fastly abandonned), it’s about awareness. And building up awareness is routine and constant work. this way includes slipping and mindlessness, falling into patterns that are up to change for good. it’s a process and it’s learning. bin there, done that.
you are doing really good. please accept my kindness for the spots and settings where you get aware, learn and work on turning.
i’m so grateful that you put me on my own procrastinated path 
I will nudge you. it’s a bit of accountability to myself to not slip away and forget about accountings in every shape & iiiihhhhhhggghhhh 
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Thank you your thoughtfulness and support mean such alot to me, im taking steps in building a better more secure life for my daughter and i…Rome wasnt built in a day so it really is baby steps…ive made my daughter aware of what im doing briefly in a hope that she also becomes aware that managing money is a thing but i dont want to bog her down with that at 7 years old…shes seen me sitting writing everything out tho and ive explained what im doing to her. I wont be perfect at this but i want to learn and be better thats the difference
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Oh dear, never too young to learn finances and accounting!
My late parents were both working fulltime and I spent lot of time at their offices.
My mum was an accountant and I soaked up everything from age 4y on 
involve your child, explain, answer questions, be honest.
when you don’t have an answer - look it up or think about it when you don’t want to answer straigth.
be straight and honest. some tasks are not to understand at this age. be you. you are working on you. your daughter senses change as you are working on you. be honest. mummy is working on adult things. it’s ok. you are loved and safe. what questions do you have dear child? what are your concerns? what is irritating you? wanna join me? give her the pigy bank to count!
children are more smart and check more that we adults can imagine. unless you go back an have an honest look on young you.
be authentic. it’s the only thing that generates trust. no, adults don’t have every answer and no, we can’t explain everything in young setting. .an honest answer is enough. because it’s honest. content is secondary.
and let her participate
I have loving memories of taking annual inventory of a really big company …
and of my mom doing taxes for my dad … wow, could decent, gentle woman use swear words 
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ive never been ‘good’ with numbers… at school i excelled in the creative but simple maths ive always found difficult and certainly not something that came naturally, it was a standing joke in my family where my step father would fire 2 numbers at me to add up in my head and when i couldnt do it he and whoever else was there would laugh at me (quite cruel really) so ive never had any confidence with it either, i did try tho…i re sat my GCSE maths twice and still i got D grade, i actually have 3 Ds lol if God loves a trier and all that 
so ive naturally shyed away from finances too…until now
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We can’t be good at everything! I was so bad at art at school that my gcse art project got thrown away by the caretaker because he thought it was rubbish… and to think my grandfather was an artist by trade!
The good news about sorting out home finances is that it has almost nothing to do with gcse maths, which, like most things in this country, has almost no practical relevance at all! 
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Bless you! I mean who actually needs b=c+a etc what a crock! i think not being good at it paved the way to a lack of confidence in anything to do with numbers thats all but im getting there now James…im already thinking differently about it…i have a plan and a budget set out that i feel good about…my goal at the moment is just to be able to pay my way and be able to start putting savings away for Sofia (my daughter) and i so that we can have some money behind us for our future and hopefully a small holiday at some point…ive never been able to take her on holiday yet and i want to show her as much as i can
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all you need is + and - to start. I’m confident you and your calculator excell at it 
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Little update guys…ive been chipping away at those debts of mine and ive now managed to clear 3 of my small loans the 3rd was cleared just yesterday it felt good to complete it…still 2 small credit cards to go and some catalogue accounts but im definately making headway now…plus no new debts…happy with progress
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Amazing work, congratulations!
Check the APR on those cards and catalogues. I’ve noticed a lot of them changing as interest rates move around so it is worth checking. THEN make sure you clear the one charging you the most first. You’ve taken your early wins now it’s time to get focussed on paying the least possible interest in aggregate.
If you’ve started to clear loans your credit score should be moving up. Is it time to see whether you can qualify to consolidate this higher interest rate debt into one lower rate one?
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Good morning James, thank you…hope you are well
Yes your right im going to start looking at that today see what i can find …thank you for reminding me about that!
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Great work Kelly 
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Thank you me lovely 
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