Heroin buried me alive!

I’ve been smoking heroin six years. It’s almost ate my twenties. Now I’m 26, i spend every cent i made on it. Now my bank accounts are cleaned, all C cards are blocked. I lost my job two days ago. I’m loosing my self. I wanna stop the shit and start from the beginning. I feel fucking alone.
If you have anything to say please leave me a comment.

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I was addicted to heroin on and off for years. I now have over a year sober and am very greatful but it didn’t just happen. I had to put in hard work. I cut off anyone I knew who used drugs, I moved far away from my war zone, I go to meetings (I prefer AA but NA is fine too), I have a sponsor and I help others in recovery. These are things I do daily as well as practice the 12 steps. It may sound like a lot but really it isn’t. AA saved my life, I’m sure of it. If your are physically dependent on heroin I suggest seeing your doctor or going to detox, either can help minimize withdrawls then look into AA/NA.

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I will, and thank you very much!

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First off, I wanna give you props for asking for help. Now it’s on to getting real. You gotta detox yourself, I always used to go to a detox center bc I just couldnt stop. There wasnt enough willpower in this world to make me stop. I always went to my local emergency room and got myself in to a detox. Now you can also see your doctor, but e.r. is quicker. And I needed quick! Before i changed my mind bc the fear of stopping was greater than the fear of using. It seemed like I was going to die if I stopped. But the reality is… I was going to die if I used! Have you thought about rehab? They can detox you and it’s a longer stay. And I needed away for a bit. So yea, I’ve been the detox center route and rehab center route. Both are great, but everyone is different with what they need. You said you lost your job, it would be a great time for rehab. But can you put your other responsibilities on hold for 30 or so days? If so, I’d recommend it! The longer the stay, the better. Also rehab will teach you about this disease and give you the tools to get started in your recovery. I needed tools and a lot of them. Today, I go to AA meetings, i have a sponsor, I work the 12 suggested steps of aa, I reach out to other alcoholics/addicts in times of need and just for the hell of it. I also sponsor a few ladies and work the steps with them too. I read the literature and write when the urge hits. And also when the urge hits, I reach out for help. Distraction was key for me in the beginning. And playing the tape ALL the way through. Like the waiting, spending my last dime, using, then the detoxing. The shakes, shivering, Shitting, no sleep, restless legs, sweating, cold all at the same time bull shit! I gotta remember the reality of it all. Using today is to die for me. I dont have another one in me… I have over 2 years and I do it one day at a time. If you need to talk, I’m around.

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Hey man, really appreciate it. Thank you very much for your every word.

My experience with heroin was nowhere near as severe but if its okay, i’d like to use my 2 cents to point you in the direction of @Englishd who as far as I’m concerned, can write a book on heroin recovery and how to come out on top.

How are you doing now. Have you sought any help. Hope you’re ok

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Don’t know if u have state assisted detox programs where your at but thats what helped me. I had the exact problem, at least that way your medically monitored and pushed in the right direction. Hang in there!

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Heyo.
I started exploring substance at a young age, 8 or 9… Can’t remember, petrol and paint thinners back then… Alcohol followed, then weed joined in the show too… And as the years went on so did the trend upstream into darkness that other drugs come with. I’m. 36 now…
I know what it’s like to loose my soul for the next hit, vien, pill, bottle, sexual play ect… I couldn’t understand why… I always looked at my life in retro spec and was like yo, I’m a clever ish kinda guy, I’ve done some pretty ok ish stuff that can be labeled as acommlishments, like I can surely drop the drug thing right? I mean I have a brain, right? Strong will power right? Wrong. Every time. I was always wrong. And I always went back to more pain. More chaos. Always!
The only thing that has ever brought me closer to peace and constructive life of sorts is when I could find identification with others that have been there and made it out. Not just living off the drugs… But living happily too. I needed that. Identification.! Stories sung by individuals sitting right in front of me with actual experiences that shared openly on where they coming from and how they stopped and how they are living life happily. how to!! … So to say.
I found this in the 12 step faculties available and free and beautiful. I use the word beautiful coz I specifically chose it. Coz that’s what it is.
I’m a multiple rehaber, serial relapser, when I use drugs I end up in phycosis or in a jail cell. Prior that I’m stuck in a two by two room in some shit hole watching porn and getting high for days on end. There’s no fun. It’s slavery. I’m saying this to you the user that wants to stop because I know I can. I can’t take these stories out into the open world, sharing it explicitly and it’s pain that follows…always… All the time. The world will never understand, niether will the world relate or find identification but an addict or alcoholic would. Because in my experience, our journies may differ, but the pain that comes from use of substance is the relative factor. And boom. I have found finally the tribe that is like me. But they are clean, sober now and happy and willing to show me how.
I always detox. Centers, doctors, clinics. And rehab helped me a ton. I know how to use drugs. I’m an addict. But I never knew about my Condition and what it means, addiction. Rehab gave me this. And the rooms gave me a cushion to land on. And friends and fellowship and and and… Now I don’t have the luxury of rehab. But I have been. And the rooms is providing sustainability of what I’ve been given in terms of my understanding toward the condition addiction. This is just my experience, I never share opinion. Opinion is open cards and also most times it comes from love. I prefer to share my actual experience with how I get into the light again.
I know what you feeling. Through my experience I have been in the lost segment of society. For years. There is light. It’s there.
Thank you for your post.
Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share me.

How goes it? It took me a couple tries to finally kick the dope. I know for me I had to go to inpatient rehab. I couldn’t do the detox on my own. Once I got out of rehab I really had to dive in to multiple recovery programs. My desire to quit finally outweighed my desire to keep living that life. Then I turned that desire into action. I’m not sure what resources are available in your area but I recommend doing them all

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