Hey guys can someone help me out?

So since about the beginning of this I’ve been waking up and all I want to do is get loaded. I’ve been clean for 101 days and this is the first time I’ve had these feelings. I struggle to get out of bed and go to work instead of getting high. when I do, it’s hard for me to go straight to work and not stop at the dope house. The last few days have been the worst. This month marks 6 months since my dad committed suicide. Any advice? Or motivation to help keep me living clean and sober?

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Sorry to hear about your dad, must have been hard. Do you have any professional help processing that ?
And what about staying sober, do you go to AA or something ?

I find the 12 steps to be pretty helpful…

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My condolences. I can not imagine what you must be going through, still for me to get high is to go and kill myself. I’m so scared of that thought so ye drugs are possible but it is a cowards way out for me. This past week I’ve been struggling to get up as well, today I woke up at 6 motherfckin pm. So I decided to do an experiment I will live and stay up at night and sleep during the day.

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Hey Cory. Sorry to hear about your father.
You don’t say what work you are doing for your sobriety. Have you just stopped.

Hey I’ve been clean off heroin and meth for 89 days. My dad and sister committed suicide as well. Being clean makes the pain of losing them severe. I’ve been having crazy horrible cravings past few days since my roommate relapsed and I ran into my x. Well just hang in there. You can do this. If ya survived families suicide ya crazy strong. So make this addiction ya bitch. :wink:

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I have been clean off meth and Alcohol for 93 days. I lost my father when I was 18. He was 43 and had a massave heart attack. It was very sudden and he was kind and loving, supportive father. That was when my using spiralled out of control. I felt like I was cheated and it wasnt fair. Why didnt god take a father that wasnt great, when mine was? So I used and drank for another 21 years to avoid the pain, then as I did I made even more poor decisions and choices with my own children. Then it was no longer my father dying it was because I couldnt stand who I had became. That cycle will never end and it will never take away the pain of life, it will just add more and more pain. I go to counseling and meetings and talk about how I feel. That’s what helps me get through. I’m sorry for your pain. I am sorry that life feels hard. I hope you can beat this and find peace

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Hi @Cory,

First of all. Welcome!

We’re glad you’re here. This is a great community.

I’m sorry about your tragic loss. Losing a loved one is hard to deal with. But good job on you choosing to get and stay sober. Congratulations on 101 days.

I can understand the cravings though. I’ve craved A LOT over the course of this year.

@Wunderbar has a great saying that I’ve learned to embrace.

Don’t Crave Alone

Get the help that you need. Lean on us if you want. We’re always here. From looking at your profile pic, it seems that you still have so much to live for. Keep going.

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First of all I would like to congratulate you with the 101 days, that’s a very big accomplishment and a big number! Big credits and major respect for you and also for @Maddy_Toler and @deaineric how ya’ll still dealing life while ya’ll sober after the losses of your loved ones, life can be so unfair… I can not even imagine what I would do without my mom. She and my sister and brother are the only family that I still have who REALLY cares about me and I really don’t know what I would do without them… So deep and deep respect for all of you!

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Thank you guys so much. I’ve been waking up and reading these comments you guys posted to help get through to work clean. You guys are awesome!

Do you have access to any kind of counseling? I think that would help…

The only counseling I am in is a relapse prevention course.