New to all this… Well that’s a lie straight off the bat. I’ve tried to stop my alcohol consumption twice before and failed and realised that it could be down to no support network at all. But last night a good friend of mine just gave up on me and completely deleted me from their life and understandably so, I was absolutely horrible to them. Infact I shamefully had to reread everything I’d sent them as I couldn’t remember. I get why they did it. But it’s the kick up the bum I needed. Edit: in total honesty I spend most mornings having to check messenger, text, WhatsApp and call history to check for my f**k ups. I’ve just had enough of it and want to be better.
So this is it. I figure if I say it somewhere then I’m accountable to commit to having a fresh and clean start. I want 2018 to be as amazing as possible but need to start now to give it the best shot I can.
Just back from the doctors. Basically came across like he didn’t really care, did obs etc which were on the high side. Was told a 29 year old shouldn’t be having high obs. Got to have some blood tests next week. He handed me a number to phone and that’s that. Trouble is it all started when I felt rubbish from a past relationship and drank to skip meals which worked to begin with but ended up drinking to the point my body craved carbs. Explained this to him but he didn’t say anything other than cutting out alcohol will reduce weight. Which is true. Maybe I’m just in a funny mood.
Your doctor didn’t get it at all. I’m sorry. This group can help support you! Just make it through the day without a drink.
Can you find a group of other people trying to quit alcohol too? In the US, I went to a alcohol/drug rehab place and enrolled in a group called IOP (intensive outpatient). It is like this forum but in person - and you can meet others and get their phone numbers and go through this together. Super helpful.
Thanks for the support. Just feel like I’m whining on and making a nuisance of myself.
Phoned the number the doctor gave me and have an assessment booked for Thursday morning with the county drugs and alcohol service. So fingers crossed for then and their help/advice.
You’re not whining or making a nuisance of yourself. That’s the shame talking, that we can all relate to. You are taking the first steps at making yourself a better friend, person, partner etc. I can relate. I lost a dear friend because of how I behaved when drinking. I just passed my first 10 days. On day 1 I was excited and high on the prospect of change. Day 2 I fell off that pink cloud and started questioning. Push through your doubts. I think I can feel the physical dependence slipping away, though the psychological dependence is alive and well. Keep checking in!
Some doctors are not helpful for psychological or addiction problems at all. I had a very similar experience with one family doctor I went to who ignored my questions about depression and heavy drinking. I was younger then too and got the impression from him that I was asking for some kind of special treatment and that a young, physically healthy person like myself was wasting his time.
I ended up switching doctors to someone else in the same office. The new doctor referred me to a therapist who I have been seeing off and on for years and that has been a huge help.
This is totally what clicked with me and suddenly it all made sense. Alcohol allergy, intolerance call it what you like but to put it simply, it has an adverse reaction with my body and I now know that I must stay sober to avoid the symptoms.
Sounds like your doctor is like the doctors over here in the US. Judgemental.
When I went to go have my son at this maternity part of this hospital. Everyone, and I mean everyone, at my recovery center that had their children at this hospital told me to switch doctors and go to a different hospital and told me their bad experiences. But I didn’t listen cuz I had such a wonderful experience when I had my daughter there. So when I actually went to have my son. They treated me like shit cuz I was on a low dose of subutex to keep the cravings away but to also much sure that my son didn’t go into horrible withdrawal when he was born. And even though I wasn’t on percs and I was clean, they still treated me and my son like shit to the point, my grandfather (my dads side of the family is very wealthy) brought his lawyer to the hospital and we were going to file discrimination and malpractice charges if shit didn’t change. And its funny that as soon as a lawyer shows up and I started screaming discrimination how fast everything changed. I mean it was like a 180 change.
I’m sorry that the stigma of addiction/alcoholism is affecting you so early in your recovery. But don’t get discouraged. Make it what makes you fight harder.