Is that how meetings start anymore?! Either way, I have come to realize that labels always attached a negative connotation to them, especially one that labels your most vulnerable flaw. My story begins in a home where my father was an alcoholic. The first time I got drunk was at a kick back when I was 14. I kept drinking after but it didn’t get “real bad” till about age 18. From then on black outs became a part of my routine. I never knew how to stop at just one or two. I tried so many methods to pace myself. Nothing ever worked. I realized in my mid 20’s that something was really wrong. I felt guilty all the time, I was beginning to become promiscuous and my self-worth was deteriorating. I sought help. A little professional background of myself is that I am a counselor. So when I started attending meetings I was like “ok here I am trying to get help and I’m listening to other people’s issues when I do that everyday at work”. So of course, I minimized my situation.
My problem became even worse about two years ago when a guy I dated briefly introduced me to cocaine. Here I am an alcoholic and now I have a new addiction. It took over. Now every time I drink I want to get high. It used to be I was a binge drinker on the weekend (one day of the weekend) and most recently I found myself getting drunk on a Tuesday night or Thursday night and not being able to go to work or being hungover at work. I have so much guilt and shame that I reached this new low. I am this professional yet doing these things that are flat out going to jeopardize my career. I feel at an utter low. My addiction has even gotten to the point of covering up my mess with lies to my coworkers to keep them from second guessing me.
I desire change. I desire a life filled with endless possibilities. I want to love life, not drink it away. My biggest triggers are when my son isn’t home and he’s at his dad’s. I no longer would drink during the week. Today is day 3 and I’m praying so hard to instill a routine that sticks so that this weekend I can make a new beginning.
Thank you for listening and I am so glad I found this app.
Welcome Miss_B, this app has helped me get through a whole month sober, there have been stresses, but I have discovered I have been able to handle them better being sober and through distraction, keeping alternative non alcoholic beverages around and a reminder of the shame I felt thinking about my behaviour when inebriated. You clearly have a desire to change, your life for the better. Think what your life will be like sober a week ahead, then a fortnight, how proud you will be at your achievements in a month ahead. Give this gift of sobriety to yourself, don’t allow anyone to take it away from you. Make a list of the things you want to achieve, and put in place plans to achieve them. Keep busy, distract yourself, treat yourself in a healthy way. How much better you will feel helping your clients knowing you are a sober professional giving your best to your clients Wishing you all best you can do this. Read the forum, help is out there for you.
Thank you! I plan to do just that.
Thank you. I appreciate your response. Day 4 today. A little emotional. But I’m focused on building my routine. This forum has helped give me ideas
Welcome @Miss_B! I love what you said “I desire a life filled with endless possibilities. I want to love life, not drink it away.” Amen to that! 
Thank you for taking the time to read. I really appreciate the support
Welcome @Miss_B. It’s good to know your triggers and be ready for them. You have already started your new beginning! You can do this!
Thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate the support.
Welcome! You’ve found a great place. I used this app to be sober for almost 60 days. Then I relapsed for about a month because I got complacent and thought I could handle one or two drinks without going crazy and ending up blackout drunk. I lied to myself.
I can relate to the guilt, shame, and fear especially when it comes to your professional life. I’ve called in or been drunk/hungover at work too many times to count.
I’m back at day 4 and doing the things I did to help myself before. Using this app, staying busy, eating well, getting rest, and trying to not beat myself up.
You can do it! 
Thank you. It is always scary to admit my addiction especially when people know what I do for a living. They feel that I should know better and I do to. But I’m also human. It helps to know I’m not alone. Today I have been experiencing cravings and all I can think of is getting a cigarette instead of drinking. But I don’t want to do that either. Reading this forum always helps to shut my mind and that urge.
This is a good communication forum to get support when you need it and I have read that the first week or two is definitely the hardest. I wouldn’t know how it feels after that because I’m on day 2 AGAIN! I usually make it to day 3 but give in thinking I can control it; I don’t. I can relate with your professional career because no one at work knows I’m a functioning alcoholic. All we can do is hang in there and take it one day at a time. You can do it!!! 
I made up a lie as to why I was ill. I don’t know if they do know, but apart of addiction comes the ongoing cape of shame, guilt, paranoia. All I know is I’m tired of lying. I’m on day 5, and I feel like giving in so bad. I’ve gone to the gym every day this week and today I didn’t. So I’m wondering if that’s why I’m feeling my urge even more. Tomorrow is my trigger day for sure. So I’m going to set myself up for success, as best I can. That’s all you can do too @kitten. As much as we think we can control it or just have one, it always comes back to the same outcome. That thought of just one came in my head and then I had to give myself a reality check. My “just one” is really “let me drink as much as I can while I can”. It sucks. Stay strong. Tomorrow is your day 3.
Thank you! I needed that encouragement. you hang in there too.