High anxiety day (extreme trigger warning)

Life in Recovery
,
1

Holy crap on a cracker. I am past 90 days and am having an anxiety wave that rivals the first detox days. My skin is crawling. My entire back is rippling. My legs are restless as hell. My chest is tight. My throat is dry. My stomach is rolling and clinching. And all of me feels empty.

And, the craving to drink has been mounting over the past few days. The desire to drink is not there. But, the craving is. It is the craving-anxiety cycle, I suppose. I am still learning. I never thought that I suffered from anxiety until I stopped using alcohol to cope.

My inner dragon is roaring, “No, it is not only about the booze. The anxiety is a symptom of something else. It would be there even of you were drinking. Drinking just masked it. Don’t run. Turn and face it!”

I will face it later in meditation.

Deep breaths.

8 Likes
2

You are so strong. You can do this! I’m proud of you for realizing the anxiety cycle. It’s a real b@tch! I am only on day 2 on my road to sobriety and have been planning on some time to do dry January (which was just an excuse) and I suffered panic attacks for 3 days straight leading up to NYE. It was my mind knowing that I only had one day left of drinking I can’t use alcohol as my crutch anymore and need to face who I am - I could barely stand, my whole body was in knots.
You have this - this too shall pass abs you’ll be smiling on the other end.

2 Likes
3

Had a day like this, told myself I didn’t need to drink. Next day got a crazy deal. Felt like the world was awarding me for staying strong.

2 Likes
4

I had days like that specifically around milestones…whoa I feel you. You are strong and aware. Meditation is a great idea. I also found that moving my body physically helps my anxiety a lot…gives it a place to go or expend itself a bit. A walk in nature can be so healing. That is fantastic you’re recognizing and working thru feeling this way. :heart:

2 Likes
5

I took a long, meandering walk. I did not push my body, but I must have reIeased something. I am home now and am absolutely exhausted. Ready for a shower and meditation session. Thank you to everyone for the fantastic support today.

1 Like
6

There is something called PAWS post acute withrawal syndrome. That too shall pass.

1 Like
7

Hey hun. How are you feeling now? Did the deep breathing help?

Do you need to talk to someone? I see your last post says you are feeling better but i just wanted to check

8

Much better, thanks. Moving for a lot of the excess energy out. I was exhausted and sappy all evening, but I got a good night’s sleep. . Thanks so much for asking!

1 Like
9

Of course. I am really glad to hear that you are feeling better :nerd_face: