So for the first time in over a year (and that was only because we were on a two week holiday were it wasn’t available) I made it to double figures being cocaine free. So trying to keep ourselves occupied we decided to go bowling and have a well needed ‘date night.’ unfortunately we apparently weren’t ready for that. The bowling was half price… As we’re the drinks. Three drinks in and we were on the way to pick up. We had done so well. 
Unlike usual though the hatred and regret kicked in whilst I was doing it last night and not this morning. I took myself off to bed and now here I am back to day one. Very very very angry with myself. One because I let myself down and two because it wasn’t even money I had to spend. How absolutely irresponsible. So now I have to find another way to pay my travel to work this week and hope we don’t run out of food. Why do we do this to ourselves?!!
I know everyone probably asks this but have you tried AA/NA? For me it was the answer.
Don’t be angry with yourself. Focus your energy moving forward to a fresh start, be forgiving with yourself. Coke is a very sneaky drug, it drags you even when you don’t want it and when you are not even fully enjoying it. At the very end of my using I was questioning why I was using while I was doing it… and this was the beginning of the end. That is a good sign that it’s not for you anymore!
One of the things that really helped me was to change my routine and add new things to my life, yoga, sports, lectures, meditation, gym, movies, long walks, music, books, AA meetings…
Another thing I would suggest is try not to drink at least in the beginning, for me two glasses of wine and I was feeling like 
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I am 307 days clean today, if I can do it you can as well! Life is so much better without the shitty coming down from coke. Try one more time! Have faith!
Yeah I was thinking the same. The fact I regretted it before I was even done with it made me realise it really wasn’t something I wanted to be doing. I want to join the gym it’s just finding the money and the time at the minute. So exhausted when I get home from my new job. Once I’ve pushed myself into if the first time I’m sure I’ll be fine. 
I’ve started reading again slowly. Haven’t listened to any music for a long time. Think that’s my next move. It always cheers me up. X
Do you and your partner use together? That’s really hard
Yes, me and my partner used together, it was our dirty little secret that was very hard to stop because it became such a habit. It never interfered dramatically with out life. But at one point after 3 years of escalating use I told him that I could no longer continue that way, it was destroying me and I knew that it would only get worse. We went on a trip and when we came back from that trip we were not using anymore. The last time we used was the day before that trip, I remember going to the airport feeling like ass… I thank god that I will never feel that way again!
A few of us have been doing a 30 day challenge. Some people are doing what I consider to be an impossible amount of pushups, crunches and lunges 
I went with 30 days of yoga. Well worth getting up early for, such a good way to start the day. And it’s free!
Have you thought about not drinking for awhile until y’all can kick your habit? It might be easier and less torturous. I know when I drink I crave so now I just don’t drink anymore. It’s actually easier not drinking.
Things that go hand in hand… when I drink… in want coke… I’m still working on alcohol… but none thing that saved me from coke was just alienating and burning those bridges from anyone i knew that did it or in cold get it from… some alienation and burning bridges is a good thing. And I’m not apologizing to them
We have been clean from coke for 309 days today and I have never felt better. I have also stop to drink, but only recently that was even harder because it’s literally everywhere, but I am 67 days sober from alcohol today which is great. My partner still drinks but much less than when I was drinking.
It really goes hand in hand. When I stopped coke I begin drinking heavily and frequently. Now that my coke addiction is under control I had to take care of my alcohol one, so far so good 67 days sober. Have so much energy and feel great. I love the fact that I will never have a hangover again! I burned all the bridges with user friends it is part of recovery. You are not up to using and drinking mindlessly anymore. And normally those friends that use try to convince you to use again.
Your story is similar to mine. My DOC is pain pills. I quit those 6 months ago. And then one day, fairly recently, I looked around and said damn I drink way too much! I’m 51 days without a drink and I feel like a million bucks!
Addition at least for me have a big component of self destruction. It is like harming ourselves willingly. The only way I found to stop the pattern is to realize deeply that I am loved no matter what and to discover that I can love others if I accept well my own wrongdoings. I needed help and I need help from others to keep alive this believe system
Beautiful and truthful words. Thank you for sharing, I completely identify and understand what you wrote.
You cant pick up the drink…that’s what I discovered.
That is so true I completely agree. It took me a long time to understand that.