Back to day one! I fucking hate myself right now I’m tiered of feeling like this on a regular basis! What’s worse is feeling like I’m not me anymore.
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Everyone has there ups and down you’ll get there i know its hard and you may feel like ita not worth it but your worth your recovery in whatever it is we are all here for you
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I was you 6 days ago i feel you. Understand all the anger, guilt and shame. Its not something im done with feeling myself yet, but its better. Regarding not feeling like yourself anymore i can relate to that alot. I dont but i think for me its because i have lost trust i myself. I dont have the same trust as i had a few relapses ago. Also i doesnt help when family says they cant recognize you anymore
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I feel you, relapsing feels harder to start! It almost feels like all the hard work is gone. I’m tiered of feeling like a drink is the only way to feel confident and happy, when I know for a fact I’m more confident and happy without it!
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Same here. I had almost two sober weeks… two weeks ago. It has been so difficult to start again. I’m really having to dig deep and find the why to start again.
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It’s just so ready available too! Can pick it up day or night! Can’t even pop into a shop without seeing it and I don’t know about you guys once I see it I think ahhhh what’s the worst that can happen
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It is. I agree with you that is tirering to feel that way due to confident. I feel like i can handle the world better and solve all my problems with having a few drinks and then call and say sorry or take the hard convo but its a lie. My addictive voice lie to me every time i take a drink because it always end as a bing and making everything even worse.
True its too avaiable and i have found that i could buy it on justeat so didnt even have to go out to get it. I think its problematic !
Addition voice I like that. You are so right that voice is a lying bastard cause it always ends up the same way!
Indeed! I call it my addiction voice because im better than that and my own voice fight against it every time i want a drink its a constant fight
@Ukkris and @SoulSearcher, I understand about relapsing and not being able to string days together…I did that for a much too long time. My mental and emotional health took a real beating then, it hurt so much to be stuck on that hamster wheel.
As @Jane.c mentioned, I found it very helpful to keep a list reminding myself of what I wanted in life and what I didn’t and what not drinking offers me. Here is a link, take a look and see if it helps…
Every bit helps, so never stop working on improving your life. 
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I might have to try that, seems like a good idea x
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I’ve had more day 1s than a bloody calendar lately and am currently on one again now but all the hard work has not gone, the hard work is yet to come. Finding the mental energy to do it all again is what is most daunting for me, trying to get excited about days and milestones I’ve done numerous times before.
I’ll tell you what doesn’t get boring though, when I get in bed tonight and I’VE WON!!!
When all else fails go back to basics, don’t over think or argue with your self bc 90% of the time you’ll find a loop hole.
Today I’m just choosing to not have a drink or a joint. I’ve had enough of brain washing myself with positivity, I’m going to try chillin a bit and just go with the flow for a change.
The answer is not in a book it’s already in my heart.
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You will find the path that works best for you. No stone unturned and all that. Your perseverance is inspiring.
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thank you , BTW there is still one book that’s got the answers and this I know for sure. 
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