I had a horrible relapse this past week. Brought a man I barely know home, went to work drunk on Monday, called in “sick” everyday after knowing I already had one written warning for doing so in the past, didn’t complete an important project at work I said I could do from home and missed an important meeting. I got into a bad car accident on Monday after leaving work (no DUI involved thank god) and used that as an excuse for not coming in the rest of the week. My boss is pissed!! I’m SOOO nervous I’m going to lose my job and shortly thereafter, due to a lack of income, my home, car… I need advice on how to cope with the stress so I don’t use it as an excuse to drink.
I felt clear headed enough today after 2 days sober to get books on addiction and search for local AA meetings to go to this week.
Well drinking seems to make all the stress and anxiety worse, and causes severe problems like accidents and missed worked.
Find a meeting and get into a seat. Read the books.
Don’t drink, it’s literally shooting yourself in the feet.
Hey @Summer18 sounds like you’ve had one shitty week! Booze is the route of your problems but then when your problems get bigger (because of the booze) what you REALLY want is a drink to help you forget it all. I only know this because like everyone else on here we are all in the boat. We totally understand and we’ve probably all been there. Being sober means finding new ways to cope with stress which is weird unknown territory at first. It’s where I am right at the moment (sober for 7 days). For me though it really is different this time. And the two things that have helped are a fab book by Jason vale, and this app. I love the counting up the sober days on this app, counting up the money not spent, the fear of the ‘reset’ button and best of all this forum. I feel accountable to these people - people I’ll never meet and who ironically are the least judgemental people in the world - but I feel like I’ve made a commitment by coming on here that I’m going to try my damndest to stay sober. I hope these things help you too. I really do. Stay in touch
Yo. There’s a trick id like to share with you known as the four r’s. It’s a simple trick really. The first R is, recognize. Recognize that you have a will to drink and relapse. The second R is rate. Rate how badly you wanna relapse on a scale of 1 to 10 never a zero though because we’re all addicts and the addiction will forever be on our backs. The third R is remember. Remember that you’re in control, remember that your addiction does NOT control YOU. The final R is reflect. Whatever you’re thinking of in your head that’s making you wanna relapse, say the opposite. If it’s, I wanna drink, I wanna drink. Then say, I dont want to drink, I do NOT WANT TO DRINK. And with that you should be good on your journey to sobriety. Also try deep breathing techniques and also counting, that can help out a lot too. Good luck dear friend! I hope this helps 
I have been in your shoes before. In that vicious cycle of causing problems and solving them with drinking or anything else, which caused more problems. The ironic thing for me was you would think that the potential to lose everything would have made me stop, but it just made me want to use more. I got to the point where I just gave up on keeping the things I had because I was just going to lose them anyway. For me, it all came down to fear. I didn’t want to ask for help because I thought it made me look weak. I didn’t want to tell people about my struggles because I wanted to save face. Well guess what? I had no face to save.
Reaching out for help takes courage, I commend you for that. Asking for and accepting help takes courage. Recovery for me is about courage in the face of fear and I cannot do it alone. It takes honesty with my recovery group and people here and a willingness to change for the better, even if admitting to some things might make me look bad. You’re on the right track. There are so many helpful threads on here and people willing to help. Keep it up
Thank you all for your advice! I’ll find out tomorrow if I lost my job and possibly if I totaled my car. If I lose both…this will be rough. The good thing is I passed a few liquor stores on my way back from dinner tonight. I could literally taste the liquor and kept on driving. Another day sober!
I don’t know, when are you ready to call it the bottom? When do you say “uncle”? Sounds like a good time and place right now. Regardless of what happens tomorrow. If you decide to keep drinking tomorrow, it seems to me you’re looking for an even lower place to sink. With the prospect of a totaled car and lost job, isn’t that enough? Seems like its time to set your floor, cut your losses and start recovery and then rebuilding. Good luck tomorrow.
I want to stop drinking regardless of what happens tomorrow. It will be a struggle to stay sober either way. Less of one with a job and a car sure but like I said it will still be a struggle.
Homer Simpson said it best, “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.”
If drinking is the answer, what the fuck was the question?
One of my all time favorites.
@Summer18 have you considered a rehab or AA. If you start taking steps to treat your disease your employer might be willing to help you out.
Hey @Summer18, if you’re into help books read the Jason vale book. It was life changing - one of the things it does is takes every ‘reason’ we give for drinking and systematically dismantles it. The books is also a form of subtle hypnosis so as you read there are some essential messages hitting your subconscious. Just a thought. I have a copy - currently it’s sitting by my husbands side of the bed. I think he’s using it as a coaster🙄
@Englishd is right, lots of employers have supports layed in place for people struggling with substance abuse. I know all the local school districts do and a lot of large companies. You should check your employee handbook or reach out to HR.
Hey there @Summer18 how’s it going? I hope your weeks perked up? Fingers crossed? Let me know how you are, thinking of you xx
I lost my job but my car wasn’t totaled so that’s a plus. I also had a conversation with my boyfriend about his drinking and we have both admitted to being alcoholics so hopefully that helps…
I just read this thread, and my heart goes out to you. @C-sun is wise. Losing your job is rough - but it may give you some time to focus on yourself and what you need to get sober. You’ve seen where your life can quickly go if you keep drinking. The good news is that you are alive, not in jail, and you are reaching out for help. Be honest and open with the folks in AA. One of my favorite AA sayings is, “We’ll love you until you can love yourself.” I felt like the biggest piece of trash on the planet when I stumbled on this app and went to AA. I found folks who believed in me in both places, and I’ll bet you will too. Please keep checking in, and let us know how you are doing. You sound like you really want this, and you absolutely can do it.
I had to hit rock bottom before I could start changing. A guy in my group defines hitting bottom as “my situation deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards”. Sounds like you’re in a great place to start changing. Bedrock is the best place to lay a foundation when building. You can start building your new life from here. I can’t wait to see your forward progress 
I’m so sorry about your job Summer but it could be the other wise owls on here are right - maybe having a job is just one too many complications at the moment and instead you can spend a little time focusing on you. I know that’s easy to say when you have a little thing like an income to worry about, but you’re right that the only person who can fix you is YOU, and being brutally honest until you’ve done that you won’t be much of an employment prospect. Turn this horrible negative into a positive by telling yourself that your job right now is getting sober so that you can start a new job with a clean slate. you had a really important conversation that needed to be had with your boyfriend which is great. Remember though that only you are responsible for your sobriety. Not him. Only you can control what you put into your body. If you can get sober together that’s brilliant but don’t let what he does or doesn’t do influence you. I only say that because my lovely husband who I adore has always encouraged my drinking, and on reflection he’s wanted me to drink to justify his own drinking. It’s SO hard to stop when someone else you live with is boozin which is why it took me ten years, but it is doable if your heads in the right place. My head only got in the right place when I found this forum and then I got the strength I needed. He’s still drinking but he’s much less comfortable doing so - my stopping has thrown his boozing into harsh relief and is making him think. He stopped for 4 days but couldn’t stand the pain so started again - of course in
Moderation thistime 
. But that’s his business and I plan to stay sober no matter what. I hope this helps in some way summer. We are all here for you xxx
It took me losing my job and almost killing myself to sover up. I’d totalled two cars while drunk and did some time in county because of it. I’ve been sober for over half a year and I still can taste the alcohol as I drive by the liquor store. You have to decide you want to be sober and you have to know what you want to be sober for. Step studies help, groups help, meetings help.
I like this. My rock bottom wasn’t low compared to many but to my standards my life was complete shit. This spoke to me, thanks for sharing!
Something I told one of my friends which helped me along the way in a strange way. The best part about hitting rock bottom, there is only one way to go.