Ugh! I suck at sharing at meetings lol Right now I am doing online meetings and when it’s my turn to share, I can barely make sense of what I’m trying to say. My mind goes a thousand miles a min and nothing that comes out of my mouth makes sense lmao When I used to go to in person meetings many years ago, it was so diff. Now that I’m trying to get back into meetings again (online this time), its gibberish that comes out of my mouth. I used to be one of those people that planned what they were going to say beforehand. But bcuz I was planning ahead of time, I would then miss out on the message from what others were saying before me. I try not to do that now so that I’m not missing out on the message. But how can I learn to share better so that I feel like I have something valuable to contribute?
Don’t worry about your contributions to the meeting try just to take it easy your shares will improve over time when you get used to the meetings and start relaxing I was also the same as you I couldn’t understand what I was trying to say never mind anyone else
I’ve run into this problem a ton! I always feel like people are giving amazing knowlege and I’m just talking about my life and how hard it is. I think the biggest difference is the amount of sobriety everyone has. Our minds run wild during the early times.
For me, I realized that talking about whatever is on my mind is ok. Everyone knows how challenging things are during the first 3, 6, 9 months etc. Alot of people at my home group always thank me for helping to keep them sober so I must be doing something right lol. Just be you and talk about how your addiction has/is affecting you. I find adding my gratitude list into the mix.
I am glad you are getting to meetings.
Just take it easy and keep sharing. People will understand that you are new and probably don’t have all of your thoughts together yet. It can feel intimidating and put you off your game. Showing up and participating is the first and biggest battle. Give it time and keep going.
I started out the exact same way during meetings irl. I did make sure to share a little each time but I always felt I rushed thru it and forgot the main points I was trying to get out. It gets easier. I havent done as many zoom meetings as I should but I totally get it. Its different. Just show up, listen, and soon you’ll be able to slow down your thinking and get out what you want/need to say. Great job on getting back to them! Having the fellowship has always helped me thru some tough times.
A share from the heart is worth more than a prepared speech. At least it is for me personally as listener.
Often when a share is prepared it misses out on connection with other messages before. Besides, most of the time will the prepared shares lack spontaneity and emotion… I do recognize your question though. Went through the same when I first start sharing.
Just be yourself and share from the heart, share whatever comes to mind. The struggles or issues you ran into and don’t forget to share about the good things and the achievements you accomplish as well. It’s your share so do whatever feels comfortable for you. Even if it’s just listening to the other shares. nothing wrong in that either! Wrong shares or invaluable shares don’t exist, every share is equally important. Maybe not for all listeners but to the one who is sharing at the least. Most people draw strength from someone who dares to speak. So you won that round on forehand.
Firstly, you do do have value and your contributions are almost certainly valuable despite what you might think other’s feel. Even if you choose to pass when it’s your turn to share, you are there choosing to be vulnerable with other addicts and that takes guts.
Secondly, I’d inventory this if I were you. I struggle a lot with the fear that people won’t like me. It comes from a weird place of wanting to control how other people perceive me. If I’m not perfect there’s a flaw that someone will notice and exploit. Also, seeking validation from others can be unhealthy for me. I’m more cruel to myself than anyone else on this planet.
Keep seeking sponsorship, it is a huge help to you and your sponsor.
I can really relate to this. I think we all can.
As far as not making sense when we share… it doesn’t really matter when sometimes I dont make sense. Because in that moment, I know what I’m trying to say. I know what I have to get off my chest. And so I get it out and get what I needed. If that makes sense. Lol.
I know that I will prolly never be that person that has this profound, earth moving share. I’m just not that guy. I am terrible at public speaking. But I can always find something in the message that I can relate to. I can always find a way to share how the message can pertain to a certain step that I worked.
At the end of the day, all I have is MY experience. I can always share that because it something that I know. I don’t know how to solve your problems but I might be able to tell the group what worked for me. So I can’t go wrong sharing that.
And if all else fails…
What was like?
And what it is like now? Will always work for a good share.
I totally get that missing out on the speakers stuff and stressed what to say. I finally learned to just be present and usually can relate enough with the speaker to be like,“me,too!” And a whole lot more.
Dont take yourself or your share so seriously .
Just say what you want to say from the heart
Easier said than done I guess but most people overthink it you would be surprised how much more people get out of simple shares …
Most people sound like there tryna dress up a crack house and sell it for a mansion…
Lol most people share to sound a certain way to boost their ego
Simplicity is key
I agree with Mu9908
Meetings should be a low pressure scene. Maybe before you share your thoughts and story try only listening to other’s stories first? Don’t worry about your response and when it becomes your turn if you’re not ready yet I think what you’ve written here is an appropriate response… “I’m not ready to speak yet” then let them circle back to you. No shame in that
Great share. Thank you for your post. It resonates with me.