How did you find the Talking Sober App

Life in Recovery
11

Awesome thread idea Eric! I definitely remember the day you joined :grin: Wasn’t too long after me.

Veteran’s Day, 2019. I was drunk before noon, took a nap, then got drunk again. Still drunk the next morning, I started a fight with my bf(ex) bc he wouldn’t share his last oxy with me and got so angry I bit him! All the while, my daughter was eating her cereal, watching :pensive: This event made me realize just how out of control I was and knew it was time to stop. I didn’t know what else to do besides not drink, but my first thought was ‘I need to go to church’. I’m not even religious, but I can’t even explain the powerful feeling I felt while I was there. Wild.

Anyway. Completely lost at one week sober and white knuckling it hard, I ended up reaching out on the only online community I’d ever been a part of…IFunny :upside_down_face: I commented under some random meme “I’m one week sober today. I got this right?!”, expecting no one to notice. Shockingly, I received hundreds of replies! Half were what you’d expect from that group of degenerates. “Celebrate with a drink!” and shit like that :roll_eyes: But the other half were actually supportive and I came across one that mentioned Sober Time. At first I thought it was just a timer, but then I discovered the goldmine it was hiding :sparkles: A month later I went back on to find that comment and thank them for what they’d given me. A true Godsend :pray:

When covid began, people were dropping like flies around here and it was hard to watch so I stepped away, feeling confident in my sobriey :clown_face: Then, by succumbing to the thought of “it’s just one drink, no one will even know”, I became a fly. I made repeated attempts to quit again throughout 2020, but it just wasn’t the same. It got to the point where I didn’t like coming here anymore bc I was envious of other’s success and ashamed of myself for failing. I gave up.

The next 3 years were torture. Not only bc I pined for the sobriety I once had, but bc my body was not handling the return of alcohol well at all. Even after dramatically reducing the proofs and volumes I drank, I kept feeling worse and worse. Then, after celebrating my father’s 3 years of sobriety(that I was obviously drunk for), enough was enough. I stopped drinking at 7pm that day. I used everything I knew to keep myself from taking that first drink again, and did that alone for 5 months. I had this stupid idea that it didn’t count until I surpassed the time I’d gotten the first time. Fear of failing again I guess. Idk :woman_shrugging: And with my tail between my legs, I returned to this community. I don’t know why I was so worried. All you rockstars welcomed me back with open arms bc you’re the most amazing people I’ve ever known :heart: I vowed to never miss a day again and haven’t since.

…and here we are (holy story! :sweat_smile:)

18 Likes
12

March 2017 my husband’s birthday, I got trashed again, woke up feeling like death again, wished I was dead again, thought about how to die again…same old shit going thru my head as it had been for years. I knew something had to change … I didn’t realize the ‘something’ was me until much later. I was a binge drinker, so I was used to going a few days or a week without drinking, but not much more than that. I had been trying to crack the sobriety code for a good decade…just getting worse and worse as I aged. I was in my late 50s, grew up in the 70s partying drinking and drugs were the only lifestyle I knew. I was dysfunctionally functioning my whole life since 15. A week after my last drunken fight with my husband, I was looking for a timer, maybe some inspiration, found the app and the forum and the kind people here who helped me, C-sun, Angie, Quitter, many others long gone from the forum, some remain :heart:. The forum was pretty new and I was astonished at the folks with 30, 60, 90 days, I think a couple of people had a year. I just remember being impressed by their days of sobriety and envious and wanting that and the pride they spoke with and obviously felt. I desperately wanted that cuz I hated myself, deeply. I prayed every night to just die.

So that’s how I found TS. And all the foundation I had been building, all the little building blocks were there and then the knowledge shared from here, the experience of those who were further along, that they had gained they shared, people so kindly helped me with my big question…how do I get sober with a spouse who drinks? And something clicked…responsibility for myself, me, my choices, no matter what was going on around me. Focus on my sobriety…I can control that. And the days added up and I stuck around, tho I left off and on for a bit here and there. Always coming back to the community here. It helps me still all these years later. I never did the AA thing, but understand the pull of IRL community. I know that is missing from my life. I think back and I see all I did to get to this point and that being a part of the TS community (even as I felt outside of the inner circle) was a strong building block for my sober muscles…the missing key? The accumulated wisdom and experience and support and having a place to come to just to read and be with others who know and understand. And over these years my opinions and beliefs have changed and expanded; as well as navigating the physical and emotional changes sobriety brings…it has been a positive learning / growth experience being here for sure.

I remain very grateful for TS, to Robin and to all of you and those who came before. :heart::star2:

19 Likes
13

Thank you Eric – what a lovely topic indeed. I have enjoyed reading these posts and look forward to others to come.
For years I battled with which addiction to tackle and how. Honestly, I did not think I had a drinking problem but wanted to reduce the amount I was drinking. I managed to finally quit smoking after many attempts in November of 2021 with the help of a hypnosis app. This was a game changer. I had that app for over a year but I knew it would only take if I truly wanted to quit and not half heartedly went into the journey.
Since then I was searching for a similar app to help with my weed and drinking addictions. No matter what I did I could not find any. I even contacted the company that made the hypnosis app as they had other applications for food and weight and sleep but none for weed or alcohol. They said they were not able to come up with anything. I did try to go to a in real life hypnosis expert that others raved about. This helped with releasing / opening up past trauma but not with my addictions.
Finally, I was looking for counters as I thought that would be helpful at least. I found Sober Time and another app. The other app also had a smoking timer and it offered health stats and rewards for milestones and such. I used the smoking one. The drinking one and Sober Time were set almost every day or forgotten about for months – deleted and reinstalled and so on. I do think in a drunken haze I saw the Talking Sober portion but didn’t comprehend it. Not a app sort of person and don’t do well with social media so it seemed fake. With my health getting worse and no answers I was drinking / getting high even more and it was getting out of hand.
In December 2022 I finally made a promise to my family. They had seen me drunk and stumbling and knew I had driven in this state. It was beyond embarrassing and I was mortified that my father had to drive me home (to my brothers place). Why in the world I even stopped to see my mom on the way home is beyond me – like the Gods were trying to intervene and help me out. :woman_shrugging: Gratefully, I managed to quit at this moment and was shocked at how well it was going. I re-installed the Sober Time App and put in my sober date. This is the day I decided to give up weed as well as I figured I might as well suffer both now rather than go through this hell again.
One night a few months into my journey, I was putzing around and found the icon that lead to Talking Sober. I read some and finally after some hesitation I created an account. So very grateful for the warm welcome I received and I was in shock. How is it that people I don’t know are sending me congrats and love. This can’t be real! I lurked for weeks and found this place to be genuine and fell in love with the people. I have not been able to stay away since. This place made me see my addiction as an addiction and not just a phase that I would be able to recover from and be able to go back to after some time passed. This place has been a constant and has helped me stay focused and on track.
I am so very grateful for you all and so very happy to know that this sort of community and support can exist over the web. Much blessings to you all and thank you @robin for creating such a safe space :pray:

18 Likes
14

What a beautiful post. :heart_eyes::jack_o_lantern::yum:

4 Likes
15

I had been going to the AA Friday night men’s meeting in Burlington off and on. They have a custom at the end of the meeting of recognizing and celebrating any length of sobriety, usually expressed in days. At the time, I was twelve and a half years sober. I was using the AA Grapevine days counter, but I wanted something more. Went looking for a sobriety days counter app, and found Sober Time. Like @Lisa07, I was setting it up and found out about Talking Sober. That was in 2017, and boy am I glad I got involved with the community before COVID hit! In 2020, I ramped up my involvement with TS, as my AA meetings were curtailed to where I needed the outlet for sharing that is so readily available here.

You are all heroes, we are all blessed.

18 Likes
16

I found Talking Sober first actually, early June 2019, googling for online peer support to help me with sobriety. Four years earlier I had quit smoking and found great peer support in a forum called Quitnet, so I already knew how powerful a tool it could be for me. As an aside, at first I joined a Dutch and an American quit smoking forum, but somehow the American one stuck. I’ve always been an Anglophile.

As to my quit date, it took me a very long time to acknowledge I had a problem with substances. I quit smoking tobacco and marijuana at the same time, after 35 years of daily use, although marijuana had gotten less through the years and was slowly replaced by ever more frequent drinking of alcohol. But smoking tobacco really was the only addiction I acknowledged. Looking back that’s totally crazy.

Anyway, I made some great friends at Quitnet and the one I grew closest to had just left after visiting me here in Amsterdam. I’ve been living alone ever since I went to live on my own age 20, and i’m totally accustomed to it but after she left I got very depressed and feeling lonely. So much so it made me bit suicidal, especially late at night after drinking alone. Or early in the morning waking up hungover. Or doing my job that felt like a dead end. Or hanging around in the bar binging three nights a week, listening to the same old banter and irritating myself crazy over it.

I had enough. I wanted out. But I knew I didn’t really want to die. I wanted to live but not like that. So at the beginning of June I decided to look for another online forum, not one just for smoking. I found Talking Sober. I joined June 2 2019. I quit drinking the same day. Then, one week later, I drank a few for one night. Thinking to myself why in the hell I did because I already felt a lot better being sober. That was the last night I drank.

For me an online forum like this was the perfect fit. I had (and still have some) problems with face to face meetings, the bigger the gathering the more so. Online there’s a filter between me and the world, I can switch of my computer or telephone when I want to. And I can write instead of talking, so I can think before I say anything (in writing).

I did go to meetings too for a while, I’ve been to AA, NA, to a secular Dutch group called de Buitenveldertgroep, and lately I’ve visited some Recovery Dharma meetings. They all have their merits and face to face meetings may in a way be better than an online forum, but this is my recovery home base. This is the place that got me through, where I made new friends, where I’m home.

It’s important to have physical contact with people, to make friends in my own community and that still is a struggle for me. But on the other hand I’ve made some fantastic friends here, all around the world. I met quite a lot of them and some have become really close. This place has saved me. I’m forever grateful to Robin for creating it and forever grateful to everybody here for being themselves and supporting me and themselves in their journeys towards a better healthier happier life. Love.

PS. I never use the app much. It has my counters, that’s about it really.

17 Likes
17

Through google I think. The group was much smaller than now (December 2016). I learned so much from it then. All these nice normal people have the same as me! Who do you call normal said Mel, and I often think about that

11 Likes
18

I certainly spent many years in denial about having a drinking problem ONLY because I knew how to keep my jobs and never drank and drove. Which is ridiculous when I think back on it now. There were so many other problems in my life that were a direct result of my drinking.
The biggest one was the obvious one, I was simply killing myself.

I had an awakening in June of this year when my alcoholic mother came to visit me.
I was judging her toxic behavior all the while repeating the cycle myself.
Something clicked in my mind about childhood traumas I had never acknowledged or dealt with and I knew I had to stop if I didn’t want to be like her.
I was living with a drinker at the time and I live in a small town where drinking culture is definitely at a high.
I felt alone, scared yet absolutely determined and I knew I needed to find likeminded people on a similar path.
I went to the App Store on my phone and looked up any kinds of sober community apps available and found this one.
I think this community is a huge reason for my sobriety so far and plan to keep utilizing it as I continue to build my alcohol free life.

All of you brighten my days in countless ways. :black_heart:

16 Likes
19

To tell the story of how I found myself here, we have to go way back to 2014. Like @JazzyS, I downloaded an app to help quit smoking (probably the same one). It helped, until I quit quitting.

Fast forward to 2018, I wanted to quit drinking. I remembered that quit smoking app and so I looked for one for alcohol, Sober Time caught my eye. After installing it, I entered in my quit data. While exploring the app, I found the forum. I was a little reluctant to post, so I read a while. I finally made my first post. Eventually, I relapsed and deleted the app.

5 months later, quit again, I remembered this community, so I reinstalled the app and came back. I started to share my story and interacting more with the community. I gravitated to several other members that had a similar sober date, we became pals, and even though many had moved on from TS, we still keep in touch; and with many, we’ve met up in person.

I think finding your little group is key. When I first came here, I looked up to and admired those who were approaching their first year, people like Derek, David, Scott, and Stevie, but I couldn’t relate to them and felt they probably had a hard time relating to me as I was so fresh. So I stuck the little group of newbies and we supported each other along the way. That’s what it’s all about!

15 Likes
20

Like many others I found TS by accident. Looking for a timer to survive Dry January i downloaded the app and found this community. For a long time i was only reading as i only wanted to do January. The more i was reading and understanding what the real problem is i decided to go on after January 2019 :slight_smile: . Best decision ever and forever grateful for TS.

12 Likes
21

Like many of you, I was looking for a counter app. I think I was on day 18 and having a hard time keeping track of my days. I looked for a sober counter and found this app. Didn’t realize it had a community feature right away but was so glad to find it. I read and read and read and realized my struggle was common, that there was a well paved path out of this pit of despair and that it was really hard for everyone. I was happy to no longer be alone in my journey to sobriety. We could suffer together and celebrate together.

16 Likes
22

Thanks for the thread @Dazercat . I was on day one doing a detox at home too sick to go out to attend an AA meeting but knew for Damm sure I was going back there :pray:t2:and in my pit of despair I found my home here and posted new topic . I’ve not regretted my decision for a single day (even those who have stressed frustrated and triggered me all have their place and belonging here and I am grateful for them for journeying along with me ) so many have pulled me through the tough days and I know will pull me through many more .Today I’m a very grateful recovering alcoholic and addict :mending_heart:

12 Likes
23

I don’t really remember, but I think I find the sober timer first and later discovered the forum.

Anyway it is five years since now and had been to great help especialy in the first time and during the Corona Lockdowns.

8 Likes
25

Welcome, Stevie! How did I find the Talking Sober app? I found it welcoming, and I want to keep it that way.

Here are some solid ideas for keeping sober that have worked for folks around here.

4 Likes
27

I woke up this morning with the shame and regret that usually accompanies an alcoholic bender. I know there are local AA meetings but decided to search the Apple Store for AA and found this app.

8 Likes
28

Welcome John.
Glad you found us.
Have a good read around. Lots of great like minded recovery people around here.
Join in when you’re comfortable.
:pray:t2::heart:

1 Like
29

Thank you.

1 Like
31

On Google about 2weeks ago :grin:

6 Likes
32

I searched for a sober site when I stopped drinking around 10 months ago. I came across a few but never stuck with any of them. Recently I searched again out of boredom and loneliness. Most of my friends are hard drinkers. I’m amazed at the amount I used to drink. That’s pretty much all we had in common. One of them actually expressed disappointment when I told him I don’t drink. So I pretty much fired most of my old friends as friends😄. I’ll find new ones

I found this site and find it helpful and supportive. I hope I can help others on their journey.

That’s what keeps me coming back.

6 Likes
33

I googled sober community.

Was previously on a different app which went downhill so I left.

3 Likes