Hello all !! I was on a track of sobriety a couple months ago. With some relapses but February 3rd my oldest brother was murdered and I have not been able to stay on the wagon since. It’s one thing to deal with a sibling being murdered but it’s another when you have dealt and went through so much with them. My brother became an addict to drugs and let his life go. I pleaded so much with to get right. I was always there at his lowest. Eventually I had a daughter. I was sober and was going to the gym and was in tip top health. Once i became pregnant I pushed him aside and decided I can’t keep going through the same pattern over and over. That was 3 yrs ago. Since then he gotten worse but I couldn’t keep dealing with that energy and especially with my daughter. It’s been just over a month since he passed but since the day he was murdered I been feeling guilty. For the past 3yrs I wasnt around for him. I do not know why but I can’t get out of this funk. I feel like I just want to be sad. And alcohol is a depressant so that’s obviously not been helping. I just want to stop drinking and get healthy. I’ve always been mentally strong. I just dont feel like it now.
I need some advice. What should I do? What activities, besides working overtime, can I do?
Im so sorry for your loss. Its hard to be there for someone who isnt there themselves. You did what you had to for you and your child. I hope you can resolve some of that guilt with time because it definitely isnt your fault!
Have you tried a sober support community like AA, SMART RECOVERY, DHARMA RECOVERY? i feel addiction draws us to isolate and working together with others on a brighter future has been amazing for my recovery.
Can you commit to getting all of the booze out of your space? Can you commit to saying no to alcohol one day at a time?
Make a cons list of drinking (i.e no energy, drunken bruses, making an ass of yourself, not being present for those you love…) refer back to this list when your alcoholic voice tries to detour you
Im glad you are here and asking for help! Thats a huge step. Keep coming back here
Welcome to Talking Sober, Briana. What can you do? Grow your sobriety! Don’t think that isolating or distraction is going to work, because it won’t.
I’m going to recommend an AA meeting - go with an open mind, and take the risk of letting people know you are looking for help.
Here is a thread full of ideas that folks here have used to get and stay sober:
Oh lady, that’s so hard! Can you get some grief therapy to help you deal with this. If you are sober, therapy can help you process and move on from trauma like you are experiencing. I’m so glad you are here.