I was the same.
I knew I had a problem, for years. And for years I would say “never again” after a bad hangover. 3 or 4 days later, when I felt better, I’d convince myself to drink again.
This lasted for years. I couldn’t quit because I wouldn’t quit. I wouldn’t quit because I didn’t want to.
There’s a big difference between knowing you have a problem and deciding to do something about it. I knew but I wasn’t interested in really doing anything about it.
Finally, after several years on this quit/drink/quit seesaw, I woke up and decided to really try.
I became active in this community and changed my relationship with alcohol: Change your Relationship with Alcohol
I took it one day at a time. Built a sober network, picked up coping tools, learned about myself and why I drink. Eventually days turned to weeks, weeks into months and months into years. One day at a time.
In my case, I wasn’t able to achieve sobriety until I really wanted to.
Give it time.