Especially in early sobriety I found filling my free time with meetings (even several a day) or phone calls (I even had days where I set a timer & created a thread & checked in here on Talking Sober every 5 minutes) - create something that will get you through the day. Doesn’t have to be fancy, doesn’t have to be “the magic perfect route to sobriety” - it just has to keep you out of trouble for the day. Jeez I remember one day I spent the entire day at a mall food court reading. Public place, a book, some water. That’s it. For 10 hours.
The meetings are really, really important. I know it’s been said before. But that’s because very often it’s true, for many, many people, meetings and working a program are what help them really make a change. (It’s like free therapy, where you get to unpack what makes you drink in the first place.)
I think back on my long and glorious history of “just one” turning into many and focus on how much stress, longing, frustration will come if I drink just one, and do what is easier, cos I want an easy life.
Sorry! I tend to jump around and mix metaphors and expressions. My point is, one drink is all it takes to start trouble. Rarely does it ever end with just one drink and no consequences, for someone who has a problem with alcohol.
So do you say it’s easier to not drink than to live with all the frustrations if you have the first one drink. if not drinking is the easy way out that’s usually the way I want to go . the easy way!
that I’m not finding that not drinking is the easy way right now
I decided to slap myself into a Rehab 8 Months ago. I listened, learned and realized that alcohol and drugs were holding me back. When I got out of there, drinking never even crossed my mind. I actually hated the fact that I wasted 15 years of my life away, drinking. Wasted time. Time, the one thing that is now most precious to me. My Time is worth more than money, material and friendships. I refuse to think of alcohol and drugs any more. I don’t have time for that shit any more. Simple as that.
Elo, what help me to get rid of the “just one” idea once and for all was many half-hearted vain attempts at the “just one.” Along with losing my business, house foreclosed on, losing my wife, going bankrupt, vehicles and boat repossessed. Losing every material possession that I owned including my self-respect and dignity. Waking up in the hospital on life support once again not knowing how I got there. Being an alcoholic and addict I pretty much had to take everything to extremes.
That’s when I realized I can’t have just one.
These are both silly, and maybe even a bit cheesy, little sayings but they are 100% true. Make them mantras in your life. Chisel them into your brain. Make these the thoughts you think rather than “just one”.
For me, I always asked myself what good would ONE drink do? Personally, I drank for a buzz. I never wanted just one drink. Ever. Once I had one, more ALWAYS followed. So, for me the answer was one drink would do nothing good for me. It wouldn’t help me relax, feel less stressed, unwind, celebrate, etc. If I played the tape out, it instead brought me a lot of reasons to NOT drink and to keep the guaranteed door to chaos and trouble closed by keeping the bottle down. It’s a life or death thing really, alcoholism is progressive and when I realized ONE drink wouldn’t do me any good-the mental battle to try and moderate stopped and I was free. Good luck, hope you find what you need to beat this battle my friend!
When I was a kid I wanted green eyes and I wanted my name to be Max. I wanted this soooo badly.
But eventually, I had to accept my reality. I had to accept that I was what I was. Blue eyes and named Gabe. Nothing could change that.
It’s like that with my alcoholism. I am an alcoholic. Nothing I do can ever change that. No amount of time sober will ever change that. That is my reality.
But I’m cool with that. Drinking stopped being fun for for me long before I quit. So I just had to finally accept that I couldn’t drink like other people. Period.
So to try to just have one isn’t in the cards for me. I either chose abstinence or oblivion.
Thanks for the reminder about acceptance! Acceptance and willingness to try something different is key in SO many wonderful changes. Thanks again Gabe!
I’m just 5 days sober this time but everytime I think about getting high I think like “will be that actually helping me to feel better or i will feel even worse later?”
I know that it’s only the beginning for me (again), I’m still in the “easy” part of the craving stuff, but I’ll being really serious this time and I’m constantly thinking that a relapse will only make me feel even more depressed? Something like that.
If I’m to be honest there has never been just one. For a minute it was fun but it just stopped working. All that’s involved if I pick up a drink. All the loss…again. I do my best to keep this in the front of my mind and remain humble and teachable.
If I ever think of the whole just 1 it reminds me of a fellow member who had just 1 and it lasted 7 years. I always thought that must have been a big ass cup to last 7 years!
@MandiH…yes. I was always “chasing the buzz”. One drink never gave me a buzz so I would have a second. That brought a lovely buzz that I didn’t want to lose so I had a third. The third didn’t feel as good so a fourth was had to try and feel better. Soon I was sleepy, and slurring my words, stumbling my way to bed. One is never enough!!
@Gabe.G…acceptance. I am an alcoholic. I’ll always be an alcoholic. Even if I never have another drink again in my life I know that 1 drink will never be one drink.
