When I first left treatment I felt so confident in my sobriety, I did it for me and felt accomplished looking in the mirror at a sober me. I’m not sure what changed after a few months, but damn now all i feel is exhausted. I search for validation from others; knowing their approval shouldn’t be what keeps me going, but I search for it nonetheless. How do you continue down a road that feels much more lonely than my addiction?
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To answer you’re question, I don’t think theres a road more lonely than the road of addiction. That being said you’re still on the right path, it’s worth alot that you know your own behavior. When you realise what you are doing you can do something about it.
You are good the way you are. Set boundries for yourself and to others. Go meet some new people doing (group)activities you never tried before, it’s something that helped me build an entirely new social network around me.
Feeling or having negative emotions/thoughts is where we must pay attention and be alert even more then usual, but once we get through them we are proud of ourselves. Stay strong, don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way of staying sober/clean. You got this!
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Try a meeting loads of people there who have been were your are now wish you well
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I dont know if you’ve tried any meetings in your journey but I do recommend them. I was where you are after 2 months, lonely and stuck in my head. And @Ray_M_C_Laren as well as many many others here swear by them and were constantly suggesting me to go and I am so glad I finally did. I’ve met some wonderful people that are all so supportive and for me, seeing the people there who are still struggling and being able to support them has helped me grow as well. It gave me a brand new sense of motivation in my own recovery that I’m very grateful for. We, as addicts, are all in this together and want each other to succeed. Good luck to you 
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I think you need to think about the causes behind the original addiction. Try therapy, cbt to try to understand why you emphasize pleasing others rather than urself. I do the same, it is hard, in my head I know I should do things for myself, but my innate first reaction to please people is so hard to break
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Did you get treatment away from your original surroundings then come back ? I felt very confident while I was at treatment , felt like I could just go back to my regular life an be back to normal. It’s been a month an a struggle. Sure with time it’ll get easier but I feel for you
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Thank you all for the kind words and support, I’ve started going to meetings again since my original post and it has came to my rescue once again. Today I saw the light at the end of the tunnel; I am grateful for this app and the supportive people who use it. I remained sober during my spout of depression this time, to me that is more than I could ever ask for. Tonight I celebrate 110 days clean and sober.
Thank you, recovery family for listening 