Welcome Michael. I echo a lot of what has been said above. I am also a recovering porn / PMO user.
Recovering from porn / PMO is about getting grounded in reality, and not escaping. In that way it is very similar to other addictions.
In other ways, it differs. In particular when you are intimate with another person - as you are (and me as well; I am married) - it is a fantasy that cuts the other person out of the core action of marriage: intimacy (mental, emotional, and physical).
There are many resources at your disposal. I would encourage you to check some out. I would also encourage you to share the partner support programs (for example, S-Anon) with your wife and encourage her to join one. For my wife, it made a big difference, and the sense of community and support from the other partners in the group has allowed her to build confidence and assurance.
For me, the biggest change started when I joined a sex addiction recovery clinic in my city. The partners group my wife is in is also part of that clinic.
Take care Michael and never give up. Use all the tips you find. (Just this morning I used one: an impulse came; I set a 5-minute timer; by the time the timer rang, it had passed and I was making breakfast.) Reach out and share and speak and connect. When you put in the effort, you will find what you need.