So your thread sounded so familiar to me. I went through that on off switch for years and years.
I wish I could offer a better solution then what I am about to say but i found it to be the only way. Everytime I would talk myself into drinking I would do the same thing.
This date is better, I will do it on Monday, Thanksgiving is right around the corner so I might as well keep drinking till then, my friends in town, the office party, I am going on that trip to Malta (that was for Heddy )
I always had a reason because I just hadnt hit my bottom yet. I hadnt hit that lowest of the low that convinced me I was a real deal alcoholic and if I put even so much as one swallow in my mouth I would be back at it and may never make it back to sobriety alive.
Thats what is took for me to stop beimg a card carrying toe dipping half measured relapser.
When I finally hit that bottom I would hit a meeting three times a day if that is what they told me to do to stay sober. I have a commitment 5 days a week and see my sponsor once a week for check in review the reading step work.
I know for me this is no joke I cant waffle or I will die. I wish I had a better answer but until the powerlessness sinks in on a personal level and you know that you can never ever ever ever have a drink again for the rest of yoyr life and be ok with it this tightrope will continue.
I am sorry you are not convinced and I will pray for no real harm to come to you during the trial period.
This disease kills more people than cancer and has aower success rate. Even if you can pull off high finctioning type drinking like me the misery-go-round is sometimes worse than death.
Chin up and stay close.