Hurtful Conversation

This is your recovery… keep strong and enjoy it … i believe in u x

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Lol is right! In what world is it the child’s responsibility to keep her parents marriage together??? I’m sorry that you have to be the adult in this household, but since you do, just keep on doin it. Keep on staying sober so that you’ll be able to be independent and self sustaining, then you can leave the toxic people behind. Best wishes :metal:t2:

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I finally believe in me too!

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They are very toxic and they want to keep me on lockdown forever unfortunately but once I do have some time under my belt and am mentally in a better place is it wrong to be with my boyfriend if were both clean?

Don’t worry about what other people say or do. Rise above it you’re doing great so don’t let people get you down. This comes under self care in my book.
Keep doing what you’re doing.:grinning:

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I can feel ya on the chaos household. My parents are 2 alcoholics themselves. Both never married just live together. Miserable together for the most part. So there is alcohol in the house 24/7 and im the only sober one many days. My mom n i have had talks about addiction and how the fuck did i go from near death in addiction to where i am now. I always call out her addict excuses to drink but i feel it has made her mindful of the situation atleast and has cut back some…

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Yeah its tough i can’t stand the constant fighting honestly its just like give it up, i hope that one day i can get out of here for good, and i feel for you too i really do

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Unfortunately, I cannot answer that question. I would love to say that everything would be puppies and rainbows after you both got some clean time but in my experience, that’s not often the case. But my experience is very limited. Keep in mind that I do not know either of you and am impartial to this matter.
Only you can answer that question and before you can, you have to be brutally honest with yourself about the relationship. Were you using when you got together? How do you know for sure he’s clean? What sort of steps has he taken to get clean? Do you still have a circle of friends who use? This is a bit personal and presumptuous, but do you prefer sex while high/drunk? (Just answer these questions to yourself) What is your plan to stay sober if he does start using again? What would you do if he offered you your DOC later down the road?

I wish you all the best :metal:t2:

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Your observations are correct if u ask me. Ive dated many addicts/alcoholics. They never seem to get cleaned up “enough” they still wanna use occasionally and fall into a hole as the occasionally turns back to old habits. Its an inevitable ugly and deceiving cycle. Its best to take this new chance to make a fresh start. Sometimes past actions will never be forgiven thrown back in your face and not repairable. And my fav of all “Two dead batteries dont start a car”

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Wow thank you for the great answer I really appreciate it! It’s not something Im worried about now my recovery comes first honestly so Ill cross that bridge when its time and reevaluate then no use stressing over it now!

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I like that quote a lot! Good points thank you!

I have a question I know Im super hard on myself but anyways I talked to my sister yesterday Im supposed to go over her house today or tomorrow to work on my resume well because of the huge brawl here last night I didn’t sleep at all is it bad if I tell her Id rather come tomorrow??

Nothing wrong with living on your own terms. As long as u know this wont be a procrastinated event. I know sometimes just pushing myself out the door to do things helpped my mood and was ok once i was out. Plus it got me out of the miserable sad house…lol

Good point, I just want to be aware and alert when working on it and the real estate agent is coming tomorrow and id rather not be here for that so i think ill pick tomorrow and text her more what time ill be over to hold myself accountable

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I have seen therapists in past, trained as a counsellor and this does not make sense.

A therapist would never make a statement like that.

Either yourr father is lying or the therapist is useless.

Either way, ignore it.

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Thank you I was hoping something like that. And that’s what im doing it forgetting about it!


That’s more like it this made me smile this morning!

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This post has been bothering me so much since I first read it. I didn’t reply because you had so much good advice already. But it is pissing me off. How dare a therapist make such a conclusion about someone they have not spoken to. She is clearly basing her judgement solely on what your father has said. So I’m pissed that he is thinking this about you…he needs to focus on his own therapy (I’m not sure why he’s seen his therapist but clearly he feels he has his own things to work on) and let you worry about your own journey. But I’m BEYOND pissed that this therapist would form that conclusion. I mean she can only possibly work with what she was given (the information that came from your father) but as a professional she should KNOW not to make any conclusions without all the facts. It is so unprofessional. Plus, even if she had met and spoken with you, a good therapist should not make judgments. That isn’t their job. Their job is to guide you to your own conclusions.

Gah.

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that yesterday. You are doing great. 25 days is awesome.

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Thank you so much! It really bothered me a lot at first, normally i would choose fo say well i might as well mess up cause everyone thinks i will and i always do but instead i came here i posted and got some great advice and support, to me that’s progress! I decided to tell my dad how much it hurt me and Im glad i did as he sent me that nice text i posted this morning, i can’t worry about anyone but me at this point and just getting better so i can carry on with my sober life!

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I know it like 2 months later but…

When Inwas in rehab the staff said the same thing to me. You’re probably relapse several times before you finally get clean. You know, 9 out of 10 people relapse within 30 days of leaving treatment. If you don3find a sponsor and immediately start you step work you won’t stay sober… I guess they don’t believe some people don’t relapse. When I left treatment I held my right handin front of me, had my index, middle and ring finger skyward and said “Read between the lines. This is how i feel about you thinking I’m going to relapse.”

I hate when people think I’m a statistic for them to analyze.

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