Welcome!! And congratulations on your 10 months. You story sounds very similar to mine in how you drank, except for me as the years wore on and my tolerance increased, I would sometimes fight with my husband. Kind of like blackout, you never knew when it was coming and often it was when blackout. My mental health was an absolute shambles, seriously crippling and anxiety ridden. I am so grateful to be sober.
But yes, my husband definitely missed his drinking and drug partner. Our relationship started with us being drinking buddies and revolved around hosting parties and visiting friends and drinking and partying. It was a HUGE adjustment for us both.
My husband was supportive as well, but didn’t really understand how bad it was for me until I had opened up more and let him know. I had to get really real with him. He likely still misses the so called fun drunk Sassy…but not the angry drunk Sassy nor the depressed wish I was dead Sassy.
It is such a change in our relationship for both of us. And yes, I am definitely not like I used to be …wacky out of control dancing the night away (falling down, blacking out, laying in bed for days, etc). It is hard when one person makes such a big change and the other doesn’t. We don’t socialize the same anymore and that is hard. I don’t want to sit up all night having a conversation with a drunk person.
So yes, I get it. For myself, I have to hold close to how proud I am of myself because it has taken so much to get where I am. Yes, I am a different person now and that is a positive. I love and respect myself. I care about what I put into my body and mind. I don’t live with the debilitating self hate and self talk. I was on a road to death and I am not anymore (well, we all are, but I am not actively pursuing death).
Finding activities to enjoy together…hiking, walks, bicycling, road trips…doing it together and sober has been a lot of fun. I am not sure my husband will ever fully get what sobriety means to me and for me that is okay. I know how important it is for me.
Sorry so long…you are not alone. Believe in yourself. ![:heart: :heart:](https://talkingsober.com/images/emoji/twitter/heart.png?v=12)