Husband Still Drinks

My husband still drinks, he has a handle on drinking but I do not. I drink way too much and never have had a one and done personality. I am very early in my recovery and him drinking in front of me is very hard for me!

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Try to find another non alcoholic beverage that reminds you of alcohol to enjoy with him when he drinks. Watching others drink is tough but if we find substitution for the alcohol it sometimes helps

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My wife still drinks. Maybe a glass of wine a night. I have a lacroix instead. Wine was never really my thing unless i ran out of beer, which i made sure not to…but early on in my recovery, or earlier i should say, i would workout while she had her glass.
So maybe you can find a distraction. Puzzles, games, exercise, go for a walk. Wouldnt hurt to ask him to refrain for awhile too. Especially since he is a reaponsible drinker, i wouldnt think hed mind.

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I have asked my husband to not keep alcohol in the house or drink in front of me for at least the first 6 months or so, and he was happy to oblige. Have you talked to him about it and how it affects you?

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My wife drinks still. She does not have a drinking problem, I have a drinking problem. She is very understanding so I do not wish her to stop drinking because I’m choosing not to. There is alcohol everywhere no matter where I am and it’s up to me to be bigger than the drink. Be strong with strong support and don’t find holes to which you want to place blame or excuses. Good luck with your journey.

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If he has a handle on it then surely he can leave it for a short while, at least to not do it in front of you? Tell him you need the support :hugs:

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I believe that seeing someone drinking around you makes no differwnce. For the first 12 months all i thought about was alcohol 24/24 it made no difference if it was before my eyes or in my mind.
You have to realise that You want to quit, dont blame triggers, dont expect others to quit, the biggrst hurdle is over coming the feeling of missing out I dont think this ever goes away

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Mine still enjoys a beer too. If I’m really craving while he’s drinking I’ll have an alcohol free beer. Wine used to be my issue but can’t find nice tasting alcohol free wine. It is hard but we both agree we each need to follow our own path. He has less of a problem stopping at one than I do. I do struggle when he does get drunk though. Just because he slurs his words and talks rubbish. That’s rare though and I just go to bed and he’s ok in the morning. Not ideal but he has to give up if HE wants to. Not if I tell him to.

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My husband drinks as well and yes, in the beginning I had my sobriety wrapped up in what others do. It took me a good long while to understand I can only control my own drinking. And whether he drinks or not, I can still choose not to drink today.

There are a lit of other threads on this topic you may find useful, I will look around for them.

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I feel the same way. My husband keeps drinking … and no matter what I think of alcohol the majority of the time. So I just ask him to put away the bottles of wine , and he can keep his liquor around. I have to work on my self and alcohol is always going to be around me.

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I did the same thing. My husband was happy to remove booze from our house. He still has an occasional beer with friends, but he’s been really supportive of me.

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I’ve noticed for the most part that the people who are supportive and happy to accommodate are those who truly can take or leave alcohol themselves. The ones who become angry or not supportive are ones who feel threatened and insecure about their own relationship with alcohol and should probably stop back and take a look at themselves.

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You’re right and thanks for the tough love. It should make no difference either way it is still my choice. I made it through the night and had a big ol glass of sun brewed ice tea instead! :tada: Here’s to another day sober!

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Good for you! It is your choice, but man - I know I would have a much harder time with alcohol in the house. I admire your strength and knowledge that you need to do this - no matter what.:heart:

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Have you asked him to refrain from drinking in front of you, as a way of supporting your sobriety? If you have, and he refuses, are you strong enough to remove yourself by perhaps securing yourself in a different part of the house, or going somewhere like to the gym or a meeting, while he’s drinking?

When I was quitting for a time “to prove I don’t have a problem” alcohol in the house was a huge temptation. I had yet to accept that I am an alcoholic, can’t drink like a “normie”, and must refrain from ever drinking again.

But when I did accept this, everything changed. I changed. It didn’t matter if there was alcohol in my house, or if my wife and her dad, both normies, wanted to enjoy an occasional drink. There’s a wine rack in my kitchen, and it’s absolutely no temptation at all.

Because I changed, it didn’t matter the environment. If I’m not strong enough to control myself in my own house, how can I expect to do so out in the world?

But that’s me. Your mileage may vary.

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So true. My wife and her dad, who lives with us, drink “like normal folk”, meaning they might have a glass or two of wine a week, and never more than one in a sitting. They offered to hid it or lock it away. I told them “thanks, but no”. I must exercise the requisite self-discipline to maintain sobriety.

Mine still drinks beer also. That was really not my thing. But we live in a 24 hour 7 day a week state. Everything is everywhere all the time. So I had to make a decision if I really want to be sober I have to make this completely about me and what I want. I admit it does cross my mind sometimes but the consequences are just not worth it for me. I do agree maybe you should talk to him and ask him to refrain for a little bit. Best of luck to you. You can do it#

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This is so true. Compromise and compassion are huge factors and something that should not even be questioned.

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