Anyone else dealing with a drinking spouse? How are you dealing with it? I want to stay sober but i don’t like my husband drinking. 
mixed emotions
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I’m having the same issues with my girlfriend. She refuses to stop drinking because I can’t anymore and doesn’t realize how much I don’t want to deal with a drunk person right now… it’s probably different with being married but when she goes out I just shut my phone off or block her number for the night and ignore her. Probably not the nicest thing to do but it keeps me from getting drunk texts and calls and that stuff triggers me
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Wow @Laualamp and @Steve92, I can’t imagine having another adult who drinks being in my proximity that often. I live with two 8 1/2 year olds and neither of them drink, lol. Stay stong!
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A few years ago in 2010-ish, I went sober for 1 1/2 years. My then-wife still drank daily / nightly. Back then I would look at her and have this somewhat power trip over her… kinda like “look at her, she has no clue, so weak”. However, back then I wasn’t as addicted as I am now this time around, seven years later (10 days sober as of yesterday).
Anyway, I had asked my then-wife then to please refrain from drinking around me and having booze in the house. That lasted only for a short period of time. It then turned into her asking me “do you think you can handle it if I have a 6 pack in the fridge”? Needless to say she drank Bud Light which is the worst in my opinion so I wasn’t that tempted to indulge from her stash.
But at that time in my life I decided that booze sucks and that I don’t need it or the after feelings from it. Like I said, it had less of a hold on me than it does now.
I think you asking your husband to try to see things your way is a good start. If you have already and he refuses to stop drinking around you may tell you a little something about him. Either he doesn’t respect you enough to stop around you for your well being… or… he just simply can’t stop and is in the same boat as you.
Just my opinion and could be completely wrong. Either way, good luck on how you handle it / approach him with it. It’s never easy when spouses, family and friends are on a different page than you.
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My wife decided 8 days ago to join me on this journey (I’m 23 days in) but before that she was very cognizant of the fact that her drinking in front of me could be a trigger. I had spoken with her about this previously, and we came to the conclusion that I would be ok with her drinking if she fully communicated with me before and during. By fully communicate, she would say for example “Hey I’m probably going to have a couple of glasses of wine tonight. How do you feel about that?” or something similar.
Have you talked to your husband about these issues? He might be understanding of what your facing now. I’d try that first if you haven’t!
Stay strong 
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Same. That would be incredibly difficult. My husband drinks, but it doesn’t bother me. He drinks at some events, but not all. And he drinks to taste it and stops at 1 or 2. It’s so weird how he can stop like that. Reminds me why I can’t start, because I won’t ever stop.
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I do feel that the journey to stopping drinking is a personal one. I don’t really believe in triggers etc, I feel once you have really made up your mind to stop you will, albeit with difficulty. But on the other hand everyone likes positive encouragement this helps to enforce the belief that what you are trying to achieve is worthwhile. You only need one person to do this, it does not necessarily have to be your partner.
I also remember being in awe that people could have a couple and then just stop. I COULD do that and have but it would be a terrible fight in my brain to convince myself that 2 was enough. After one, it was like a switch turned on that told me to clear the fridge of all beer. So glad I don’t live like that anymore.
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@Rod I’m having a hard time understanding where you are coming from. How could it not have to be your partner who encourages you? Also, alcohol in the house is BEYOND having decided that you don’t want to drink. That is huge and a lot of people couldn’t live with that and stay sober…
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I fully believe in triggers depending on how far down the rabbit hole you’ve gone. When I first got sober in 05, not much triggered me. After the progression of this disease, certain people, places and moods trigger me. I will not step foot in a bar (“You don’t walk into a barber shop unless you’re getting your hair cut” my Grandfather used to say) I avoid my triggers but sometimes it can’t be helped…you’ll have to set boundaries with your husband to respect your sobriety.
As for normies (people who aren’t alcoholic and can drink normally), I can’t fathom them. My step father drinks half a bottle of beer, puts a wine cork in it, then puts it in the fridge for later…smh crazy. It takes him an hour to finish a drink in one sitting…uh yeah, not in my world.
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This is something that’s been weighing heavy on my mind as well 
Because it’s such an issue, I just keep tying to tell myself that it was ME who fell down this rabbit hole of addiction and it’s ME who stayed for so long and it’s ME who needs to climb out and it’s ME who needs to stay out. Allowing others behavior to affect me is MY choice.
Keep in mind, this is only what I keep telling myself, not exactly what I’ve been able to convince myself to feel. But since thoughts turn into feelings, I’m just hoping for the best this time around since I know all to well the constant struggle.
I am however going to figure it out and not become powerless over alcohol in whatever form it takes on.
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Even if I had no beer in the fridge I would find it even when shops were closed I would venture into very dangerous areas to get it. My wife would dump all the booze in the house. The point I was trying to make was if you wanted a drink you would get even if the fridge was bare, that’s the nature of the addiction. I am only of the booze for 3 months the longest period in almost 4 decades of daily drunkenness so l am not trying to advise but trying to impart what helped me. It may not work for you
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hahahaha that’s funny
Lmao…I need that poster
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Lol. Stop it you two. I’m trying to work. Puff, puff. I-think-I-can-I-think-I-can-I-think-I-can-I-think-I-can-I-think-I-can!
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Working from home- a blessing and a curse lol
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Does it make me a bad person if my husbands drinking is actually bothering me though? He is not a person that “can only have 1 beer and call it a day”. He should be quitting, with me. I believe he is an alcoholic. And it bothers me he is not quitting with me but i know i can only make that decision for myself, and not for him.
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