It doesn’t make you a bad person. Now that I’m in recovery anything aa related is constantly on my mind. I think about who in my family is probably an alcoholic, or of I see someone buying beer, I think, do they have a problem? Its like when you’re pregnant, all you see is pregnant ladies.
Anyways, back yo your spouse, I can’t say whether or not he is, only he can decide that. Maybe once he sees how well you’re doing, he may want to start his own journey? I agree though, seeing someone drink (and getting drunk?) is not helpful in recovery.
Has anyone seen the movie Smashed? It’s about a married couple who are both drinking. Then the wife decides to stop but the husband keeps drinking. The wife eventually leaves him, saying she cannot stay sober and stay with him. A year passes, she’s now sober and he’s still drinking. I wish it would’ve ended in a different way… but maybe it will someday… (Talking about the husband getting sober too, one day)
Struggling today with this I know he has his own sh*t going on and he is stressed but it is very hard for me. First, to see someone drowning their problems into beer, and second for the obvious reason (my own sobriety journey).
@Laualamp i quit drinking for me. My wife continues to drink. I have found a great deal of enjoyment while she is drinking after i quit. Sure, for her health I hope she decides to quit, but she needs to quit when she is ready. I will not suggest she change. I love her for her, and she drinks. I feel that if one person decides to quit it should not make the other feel obligated. My wife stuck with me through my many years of being a shit husband and father because my drinking was a problem for me. I will sick with her until the end, trying to encourage healthy choices, but never pushing my agenda on her. Then again, i view marriage as a permanent relationship.
Thank you for this. My husband is so loving and tolerant, and has put up with my really shit*y behaviour while drunk. He deserves more patience and tolerance from me, I know. I will continue my journey to sobriety and will try to be more understanding towards him as well.
I was inn the hospital last week for 2 nights to help me with withdrawal. My husband kept drinking, says he has to do it in his own time. He kept the bottle hidden…until today. I don’t even care for hard liquor, but there I was, sucking straight from the bottle. I can still see the bruise on my arm where the IV blew out (from hospital fluids, etc). I didn’t drink a lot. Maybe 1 shot total. But am bummed I didn’t ask him to hide them first thing today. And am disappointed with myself. Calling iop and psychiatrist tomorrow. I need help. And he needs to quit.
I am so sorry to hear this. I am still struggling as well with my h drinking I really hope you can get some help, I know this is so hard… But we have to do this for OURSELVES.
I feel for you! I couldn’t imagine going through that I guess I’m lucky my boyfriend doesn’t drink an supports me. Don’t forget this is your journey no one else’s so if your partner doesn’t want to show support then that doesn’t matter. Do this for yourself you will be okay my friend x
I know all too well what you’re going through. I’m in exactly the same boat and it’s really hard for me, being 30 days sober. I need to figure out how I’m going to handle it without resenting him. It’s just so hard to be honest with him about how it affects me.
but maybe it will someday… (Talking about the husband getting sober too, one day)
I know he has his own sh*t going on and he is stressed but it is very hard for me. First, to see someone drowning their problems into beer, and second for the obvious reason (my own sobriety journey).