I almost had a year

Relapses
1

And now im at day 1 again.
I know that i can do this i just feel like an absolute piece of shit human for giving in. Fuck.

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2

I am so sad and disappointed. How do i get through this?

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3

Hey, I’ve been there! I had 16 months. And then I went back out. The thing is, I never intended to go back “out” out. Was just going to have a glass of wine, you know, one - like a normal person. It didn’t work that way, like you know all too well.

But you know what? You had almost a year, and that time isn’t lost. Your sobriety is waiting for you… just pick it back up where you left off. The sooner, the better. Don’t get caught in the cycle of downward spiral. I’ve got 5 months and few days back, and it feels every bit as good - even better - than the first round.

Join me in a sober day today, k? I believe in you. :orange_heart:

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4

Just pick yourself up and keep going. As long as you do that, it’s not a failure. Learn all that you can from this. What made you slip? What can you do to prevent this from happening again? What resources have worked in the past? And so on. Sending :people_hugging: your way.

You are not a POS and you deserve empathy and compassion… especially from yourself :heart:

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5

Thank you so much.

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6

I can learn from this. Thank you

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7

How about turning this into a lesson for all of us.
How did you justify that first drink?
Did you say to yourself that because you’ve made it a year, you don’t actually have a problem?
Did you say that after one year you deserve a drink?
Or was it a resentment for not getting something you thought you’d have because you made it to a year?

It is very important to learn to understand this behavior. Or it will happen again.

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8

This is relatable. I went back after over a year. Finally back at it with 99 days. I spiraled and it took me a bit to find my footing, so it’s a great sign that you’re back on here. You don’t lose all the tools and knowledge you gained in your time sober- youve still got those! And now you can learn from this as well. Happy to have you back!

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9

I agree. It is important.

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10

Thanks for this

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11

You are far from a failure. Whatever sober routine/program you used to get sober in the beginning is a great place to go back to. I go back to the basics all the time. One day at a time. I stopped counting days after day :100:.

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12

Thanks for this. I know i am not a failure, i just so badly feel like one today

13

I agree completely that it’s not lost. What you learned is still with you. Look you’re right back on here talking, I find that very courageous. I believe in you as well. Thanks for bringing your experience here. :heart:

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14

Thank you for your kind words.

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15

Like a lot of us here did. It sucks, I know. I think that in a day or two you’ll feel ok. I guess that you could use this relapse to remind yourself that you have to be on guard - sorry for my bad English - because as it is with every addiction, alcohol rewires our brains into tricking ourselves that, at some point, we can have a drink like non-alcoholics. Which, as you know, we cannot.
Forgive yourself, but don’t forget the feeling.
And continue your journey.
Sending you virtual hugs of encouragement.

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16

I know i cant have justvone, but did it anyway. Definitely learned a lesson.

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17

You’re not a piece of shit. Like my sponsor told me I’m just an addict. Brush those shoulders off it’s a new day.

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18

Thanks. I know im not, i just feel guilty and yucky.

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19

I feel you man. We are here for you. In the mean time do you’re best to not dwell. Live in the solution today to the best of you’re ability :pray: be good to you.

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20

Hey :slight_smile: what do you think happened? Are you able to see when things began to go downhill? They say relapses begin to happen before the actual act of giving in to our addictions. When i relapsed in the past at 3 years clean, i was able to see the things that i shouldve done for my recovery on a daily basis as well as the things i needed to get rid of in order to see success overtime. I can see that ur last post before this one was 4 months ago. Do u think distancing away from a support like this played a role in ur relapse? Just curious as i know that i absolutely need that support to stay clean :slight_smile: you can get back to ur year! It may seem defeating right now but u have the skills and have had the recovery time. You dont lose everything u learned just bcuz of a relapse. Get back to those basics of recovery and keep at it. U will get back there :slight_smile:

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