It is time I stop turning myself into who other’s need/want me to be.
I did it so many times that I truly do not know who I am.
I am going off to find myself.
It has to be done, it doesn’t matter how scared I am, I am going to die if I do not stop walking down this road.
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I feel like I’m digging up all of these dark and ugly and messy things I was keeping from myself. Like I drank to protect myself from the pain of looking in the mirror and being ashamed of what I see. No more running. Time to face myself and really learn who I am. I started drinking when I was 16 and now I’m 24. Years of self discovery wasted. Except now I have the chance to do that now. I can take control of my life now. And find out who I am now! Today is a new day! And a sober day as well! And I’m grateful for that hugs
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I am also 24 years old.
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I have a blood soaked past, that I am finding very hard to get passed.
It can be different; keep your heads up. I am in my late twenties and am just beginning this journey again, but the war must wage on. We have to stop fighting ourselves and start fighting the enemy, our drug of choice.
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I met a guy at a meeting who has been sober longer than I’ve been alive!!! Incredible!!!
We’ve all got demons, I’ve woken up ashamed and have had to go apologize to people and feel like an awful, broken human being. So my question to myself keeps becoming: “well where do I go from here? How do I get there?” Then I realize I’m not focusing on right now. On today. On staying sober today. I’m too worried about apologizing and making things right. I’m not ready for that yet. I have to take this at my own pace.
Cuz if I think about it too much I’ll get overwhelmed. Gotta just breathe and take it a day at a time.
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