I am so lonely

I am almost a week clean from alcohol and weed but im incredibly lonely. Im lucky to have my parents and brothers but I really want a boyfriend. Im 31 and I really want kids one day. It happens to me every night around 7pm I get a huge hit of loneliness and my heart hurts I think thats why I turned to weed mainly to numb the pain but now im feeling it worse than ever. Will I get used to being single as I know they don’t recommended dating in the first year. Thanks for letting me share.

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wow, Lucy I really appreciate that you are honest with yourself and you are fighting with yourself we are all with you, don’t ever feel lonely, You can do this, All the best:)

A lot of this feeling is the addiction talking. As you get more comfortable with your sober self life gets better. Focus on you and rewards of a sober life flourish.

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Oh Lucy this one really got me becsuse I can totally relate lonliness is such a mental hardship, during my using i had my boyfriend there with me the whole time in order to get and stay clean i moved in with my parents 26 days ago we know together it’s too tempting right now and we both need to get some serious recovery under our belts, sure we text each other and say i love you but the physical presence of someone can be huge, i found coming here helps me a lot ive never really had friends and i feel like i have people who really want to see me succeed here sending you tons of hugs xoxo

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when-you-get-left-home-alone-for-thirty-years-with-29445807

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:joy::joy::joy: dead!!!

Maybe try a meeting theres a saying there that you will no longer be alone , wish you well

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I feel you. I am in such a horrible lonely place right now. I had the texting and phone calls, but i fucked that up and now have nothing. The only thing that gets me out of my head is when i go to a meeting. Just listening, and knowing I’m not alone is the only thing keeping me away from the edge and another drink.
Hang on, get yourself in a good place one day at a time.

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Gym. Social meetups. Classes.

Do not isolate. Especially in the evening. Take it from somebody who knows. Isolate and you will drink.

Well done on your first week. That is amazing :hugs:

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I can totally relate to this. Its a vicious circle for me. Feel lonely - drink - feel more helpless and lonely - drink more - repeat. I’ve been doing this solidly for 6 years. As a result I hid myself away and isolated myself more and more. With a little sobriety under my belt I don’t think I feel less lonely, but I understand why I do and am calmer and more comfortable with it. I also have the clarity to see that it is up to me to fix it and that it’ll take time. Maybe one day I’ll find someone, maybe I won’t. Either way I want to be the best possible version of myself. God luck to you and know that sobriety will help with these thoughts👍

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I understand you completely because i feel the same way sometimes but then i am working on myself to be a better person

THIS!!!

I spent my 20s just desperate for a “boyfriend”. Of course I wanted him to be a cool and kind boyfriend but I didn’t care if he was the right boyfriend for me. It was awful. I was constantly trying to present a person that I thought THEY would like just so that they would want to be with me. It was soul crushing every time it failed but I never thought that it was because I didn’t let them see the real me.

I was late meeting and marrying my husband and even today I wonder if he chose the real me or was I still putting on the mask of a woman I thought he would want to marry.

31 is still young. You have time. But before you can have a true boyfriend you need to work on you first. It’s time for you to date yourself and fall in love with yourself. If you do that the rest will happen so much faster.

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Amen to that and im turning 31 this year i am still young but i am working on myself still and im becoming a better father to my daughter she is my priority aswell as my sobriety

Wow! I am so overwhelmed with the messages.
I definitely do not feel alone now.
I have been going to NA meetings every morning.
I think my head likes to move faster than the actual pace of life. I have been dating guys in my past who like to drink and smoke but in the last 6 months ive noticed I dont want that anymore so it is very interesting and I am adapting slowly.
I like focusing on myself but there are moments throughout the day I would like to have some one to text but I know there are so many people in the world that are single so I should stop thinking about myself all the time in regards to being single and associating loneliness with this.
Thank you everyone for your support. We are all in this together!

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Same here. I try to tell others your thought process changes sober. You may not like the person your with anymore because you have a different perspective of your life now and different needs and wants. All i ever dated was users as well so ive seen every angle of addiction . From alcoholic parents , addicted partners, both addicted, and myself as an addict. So i got dealt the ferris wheel of addiction but i have proved to myself i can hop off forever and can keep it that way as that is my destiny to choose now…

I felt the same way not that long ago and then realised i need to love myself (working on it) before i can let someone in properly and love them.
It can be lonely but i make sure i attend groups, meetings and just generally get out the house to things i enjoy that isnt just work and home and yes i am alone at home but i dont feel as lonely now so you will come through this!
I have had multiple relationships all through mg 20s purely because i felt i had to to comply with society and also to have someone there but i picked the wrong ones for ME! So they never worked and also fueled my addiction even more! As i would drink to cover any hurt or to even be able to sleep with them as i hated myself id always be self concious.
Glad now im on a path to love myself and be a better me and you can too! They also say if your not looking for it love will find you at the right time :slight_smile:

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Thanks guys! I really related to your stories!
I do feel less alone tonight.
I feel like there are alot of other people in the same boat.
Ive been going to NA meetings, going to college, going to the gym tomorrow.
Feeling much better and liked reading your stories.
I feel I love myself a bit more tonight and feel very content being me.
Thanks again and wishing you love and happiness :grinning:

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Im feeling lonely as fuck again.
Ive got all this free time now and i miss my ex heaps but hes got a gambling addiction and he kinda messed with my head so best not to go there.
Im thinking of joining dance classes but ive got friday Saturday and sunday night free and theres only so much netflix to watch ive already ran out of shit to watch. Any ideas?

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Are you lonely right now or just bored? Would it be that much better if someone was sitting next to you watching the screen to? There’s always people around on the forum to talk to either way. I’m a reader so I always like to pick up a favorite book when I’m down. Or listen to a podcast, favorite music or find some new music online. Find something that interests you and learn about it. We have this whole internet at our fingertips! Take a walk, work out or just stretch a little, a nice bath. There’s lots of things to occupy time.

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