believeing I do not have a problem because when I drink, I am a nicer/happier person, how can that be a problem?
Side Note: I have big time trouble going without it, that is how I know I do have a problem?
Input please?
yeah…you have a problem. Lol part of the disease is it tries to tell you that you don’t…another clue. But if you’re not truly done and still have a little more energy to give to your drinking you will use any excuse you can find, no matter how dumb, and you’ll be right back where you started. Once you’re through and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be sober you will finally surrender and do it. Period. No excuse will be good enough. No lie believable enough. No problems big enough to convince you to go back to the bottle. Deep down you know your truth. (Or you wouldn’t be here)
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Without casting judgement here, because I too have a problem with alcohol, I will give an honest opinion based on my observations in the forum. I will answer this with the caveat that I am not a medical professional and this of course is not professional advice. From your posts, your personality and temperament seem to run on the 
side during situations that cause you anxiety or stress. Alcohol is a CNS depressant which may have a calming effect on you to a certain extent…that’s why many of us ingest it. The problem lies in the fact that it is not a medicine, and by us taking it to provide “mood regulation” effects we are self-medicating with something that has no dosage guidelines and comes with a whole slew of adverse side effects. I don’t know if you are on any mood regulating medications, and I would not even expect you to share that in this forum, but it may be something that could be of benefit, and fill that neurotransmitter regulation need, without the adverse effects and dangers of alcohol. Just a thought from my perspective.
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Alcohol is a patient suttell monster.
It waits until we feel better. This when we are at our weakest. It starts pant it seed and if are not careful this seed will grow. The next thing we know we will be banging on the bar drunk baffled on how we got drunk again. I remind myself every day I am an alcoholic.
Of course this is my opinion
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I do not need meds.
I just need to stop caring so much about users/stop blaming myself for their mess ups/stop trying to drink away pain that isn’t mine just because I know the pain far to will of lossing for one a babe and for two someone you love via od.
R.I.P Babe Boy and Old Best Friend!
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That’s the thing with alcohol. It stops us being rational. When we go without for a short time we start telling ourselves we dont need to go without. We can control it. Sometimes we can control it but then it takes us to a point where we feel we have to give up again and so the vicious circle continues. There comes a point where enough is enough. Each of us have our own breaking point with it. For me i didnt enjoy drinking anymore. I was scared of my liver getting into a state of not being able to repair its self. I was scared of dying young an leaving my children with no mother. I lost both my parents to cancer in my early 30s. What if I’ve caused myself to have liver cancer an my children have to deal with that. I know i should have thought of all that before i became addicted but such is life hey 
main thing now is to get over this addiction and to not allow the alcoholic monster inside me to take back control so i can get myself back to a healthy place physically and mentally. Its a daily battle to keep the monster inside me quiet but so far im winning.
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