So I’m 51 days off oxy, and just a few days other substances since I relapsed over the last weekend. Now I still haven’t used, but my head is there. If something was given to me or the opportunity was there, I really feel like I’d give in. Upside, the fact is i wont use because I don’t have any money. Anyway, after messing up last weekend i reset myself and I’ve been making it through this week until I got some bad news this morning. But I responded to the bad news by talking myself up and keeping myself busy. But as the day has gone on, I feel like my arguments aren’t quite landing. Maybe I’m getting stuck in my head worrying about my problems in front of me right now. Yet, I totally get it that if I used, my problems would just be worse. So why do I feel weak right now? All I can think to do at this very moment is keep myself distracted, pray my problems will work out eventually, and really just read here on the forum. I’m not going to mess up like last weekend. Felt horrible and I’m remembering just how bad I felt. But my head isn’t in a good spot this evening. Stressed I guess, and stress is very much my trigger.
Can you indulge in something else? Like chocolate covered pretzels with a latte and Netflix? Write a list of things you want to get accomplished before the weekend is over.
Can you drive yourself to a meeting? I know that would be most helpful to be around others in an NA meeting.
All of that! Great advice.
@jasharlem I’d surmise you feel weak because while you have abstained from Oxy, you’re still very fresh on the sobriety track considering you just reset with a few other items. I’m not keen on Oxy but I think they’re an opiate, heroin is too. That would be like me saying I haven’t drank vodka in 8 months, but I did do some shots of bourbon this last weekend. Ya dig?
Stay inside. Erase “the guys” number. Don’t answer the door. If the hubby gets some, remove yourself from the room. Tell him you can’t be around the substance or the user.
The problems right in front of you will be compounded and inexplicably worse tomorrow if you use. The guilt, shame, self loathing, financial issues will all be that much stronger.
Couldn’t go to an NA meeting, so I went to one in the rooms which did help calm my anxious feeling. I have a hard time actually getting to physical meetings because of childcare conflicts. Anyway, after it was over I started cooking dinner.
Oh I feel you on the childcare issues. I’m happy you did something for yourself though…
Yeah, I don’t have any of the numbers anymore but my husband does and he still has access to the guys. Fortunately, he’s not home at the moment in this moment I felt vulnerable.
Well if he’s not on board with your sobriety you’re gonna have to set some ground rules/boundaries.
Living with a user can be like living in a ship with a hole in the hull. Constantly shoveling water out, and still watching it rise and eventually sinking your ship.
Damnit, now I am craving chocolate covered pretzels and a latte 
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Haha 
I was going to say chai tea latte too. So delicious
Yummmmmm. I worked at Starbucks for 6 years… pretty sure I gained a solid 20 while working there. What do you mean a white chocolate mocha has 600 calories and I can have 4 for free during my shift??? Totally worth it. The chocolate caramel pretzels from Costco are deadly- if you haven’t tried them yet DONT because you will eat the whole bag 
That’s so crazy! 6 years is a long time. I’m always seeing those BuzzFeed articles about how terrible customers are that go to Starbucks 
. And I feel you on the weight, I worked at a brewery for 5 years, some of those beers have some serious ABV and high calorie content.
I was just at the Starbucks Reserve Roastery in Seattle last week-we did fancy coffee tasting instead of wine lol And I see one of the employees pouring some frothy milk into a cup and shaking so badly. It made me wonder if-like a bar or brewery-are employees restricted from drinking on the job or is there a max amount you can consume during your shift? Because caffeine can have some serious side effects. Just an interesting comparison thinking of the similarities with caffeine and alcohol.
And good tip, definitely will not get those pretzels because they seriously sound amazing. While in Seattle I had a salted caramel macaroon and it was soooooo good 
On an 8 hour shift you are allowed a Bev before and after your shift, and on all 3 breaks. That’s 5 drinks, and I could have made them all 10 shot Americanos if I wanted. They don’t give two shits!! Plus you get a lb of coffee per week… I was so addicted that when I travelled to Europe, my first morning before caffeine I had a withdrawal headache so bad I almost puked. I am now on 2 cups per day, and any more gives me a headache!
O.m.g seriously that’s really crazy. Plus a lb a week!? Wow…I bet that headache was so terrible, I don’t doubt you almost threw up. Ugh.
I’m trying to get down to two cups a day 
I’m trying to replace with black tea.
Try half caff… honestly it’s a dream. I just mix half decaf grounds in the porta filter (I use a Keurig) that way you can drink more and get less caffeine…
I like the way you speak lol I’ll give it a try thanks 
He almost got me the other day. He took a oxy right in front of me and asked “you don’t get cravings any more do you?” Man, I wanted to slap him so hard. I resisted though. I was proud of myself for making it through that crisis.
That’s pretty rude and dense of him to say. Is he normally so passive aggressive? Or is he really that oblivious?
I think in that moment he was just oblivious. He’s usually very direct rather than passive aggressive. But yeah I wanted to clobber him so bad, lol. What a thing to say, right? He usually uses in another room and tries not to do it in front of me, but that day we were in the car and I guess he just couldn’t wait till we got home. It was a hard moment, but I managed.
That’s gotta be so tough… Does his using not affect his life-kids, job, attitude?
My husband drinks and I honestly can’t stand it