I went on a month long break from booze and decided to try to drink normally again. Ended up going to 3 bars, spent a hundred dollars, drove I’m so ashamed and embarrassed. I spent Sunday hung over in disbelief at myself.
I want to be a social drinker but every time is worse than the last. While never a daily drinker, I’m an alcoholic binge drinker.
My dad is an alcoholic, which is why I don’t know him. I swore I’d keep it under control but I have to quit. Not even one.
I think this is me finally accepting it as part of my identity. I get drunk not just because I want to but I can’t help it once I start.
I’m not sure if AA is for me but I watched a lot of inspirational videos. This is something important I need to do for myself. And I can’t ever let my guard down because disaster will happen if I keep rolling the dice.