Hang in there. Call a support or keep us in the forum. You made it to today which is an achievement right there! @Manu
You are capable of fighting back but it’s up to you. If you want to stop and are willing to take any measures possible then the healing can begin. If you keep doing exactly as you have I’m going out on limb here and predict you will get the same results. You can get through this but it won’t be easy. It’s hard AF honestly but I can tell you in just over 8 months my life is like a new me. But I didn’t try to just make one change and expect things to change. I was desperate enough to pull myself out of the rabbit hole and work my ass off. Best wishes
I haven’t posted in a while due to the shame. This thread has encouraged me though. I always like what @Chad_R says. And his words always resonate with me. I just have to do it. I’m a daily drinker. 30 years. Lately I tried to get it down to a science to where I can have that nice buzz and actually stop. Which is at about the 7th scotch drink. So I’ll just stand there literally debating. Do I stop and be a “normal” drinker. Or just have one more. Of course we know the answer and the same fn thing happens night after night. Morning of shame. Feeling sweaty and lethargic. I’m so tired of this. It’s too much energy and effort fighting with myself. When will I truly decide? Sigh…
When it comes to a ‘normal’ drinking, i had this ethos- everything in moderation, including moderation. So, no more hungovers, no more regrets and no more feeling not in control
There’s nothing normal about having 7 scotches every night man. Not for anyone is that normal.
Don’t let shame keep you away buddy. If any of us let our shame keep us away then there would be no one in this forum. We are here for you no matter what! Just get this “normal” drinker shit out of your head.
If is science you want then here’s a quote from a man named Albert Einstein. Maybe you have heard of him “To do the same thing over and over and expect a different result is the definition of insanity”
I keep thinking about that. I’m like. I’m insane. What am I doing. Thanks for the pep talk man.
Love you brother. We miss you around here so don’t be a stranger
Well said, bookmarked this post for personal reference.
It happens the same to me.I drinked only few times in social moments, but when I began with one drink then I couldn’t stop drinking, and the next morning I felt ashamed with myself for the things I had said and done.I’m done with It.Never again.
The same history to me.You are not alone,I’m with you in this freedom journey
I’ve drank a few times since this post still holds true. Last Thursday I decided to just have a glass or two of wine. Had the whole bottle and walked down to the bar for more.
I ended up talking to some business guy and got a LinkedIn request the next morning I don’t remember what I said but he liked it? Wanted to buy me lunch and talk shop? LMAO. People don’t realize I’m blacked out… Good Lord.
Spent all Friday in bed. Every time my face turns red for days and I look like hell. How do daily drunks do it? That’s amazing to me. I had to stay home.
I drink because I’m bored and don’t know how to relax. Drinking makes things fun instead of just passing time. It makes music come alive. It makes the mundane an adventure. What do I do? I’m struggling.
I relate to this immensely because I am not a daily drinker or a solo drinker, however I considered myself a social drinker.
Go to bars with friends and have a few drinks. However it became blackout every single time. I learned the moment alcohol touches my tongue, it is all down hill.
My father is an alcoholic and it comes with acceptance that a lot of it is genetic. However also will to just simpily stay away. It will be hard to say “No” but your friends will learn your boundaries. Being social means socializing but not partaking in everything.
It seems to me you are struggling with two opposite feelings: 1. I am not a normal drinker. and 2. I am not an alcoholic.
As a fellow “not normal”, I’ll tell ya - one of the two has to win. You either succumb to the drink, or you take the path of abstinence. The sooner you give up, the better. I remember I was reluctant to admit I was an alcoholic (not a daily drinker by far, but when I drank I’d dry the bar out), but I also thought I kinda was one. I was fine, but not fine. I was in control, but not quite. My life was a string of paradoxes at that point. That kind of struggle brought me to the brink of suicide. Guess what got me out of it - I admitted I was an alcoholic. Suddenly, I wasn’t in control, but that was great, because then I could finally ask for help. And when help came, it was divine.
Surrender, my friend, pays out in the long run; drink only pays out in the moment.
@SpacyTheStone wow what you said sounds really like how I drink. Never heard dry drinker before. I went to see a doctor and it seems my binges are associated how I deal with things in life. Long story but yeah can totally relate.
Yeah I hadn’t heard of a dry drunk before I started going to groups but it’s really opened my eyes to how my addiction isn’t just about using substances. Keep spreading the word my friend
I haven’t been on here for a while but I want to get every ounce of support that I can. I had to keep hitting that darn reset button! It’s been 10 days since I’ve had to. I really feel like I’ve come out to a lot of people this time and I now have a lot of hope that I will make it this time. I had 5 years sober but 2 years ago I started to “socially” drink and it was ok at first because I felt a lot of people in my circle were watching closely because of my history. This past year as stress began to increase in my life and having children who bring liquor in the house, it got worse. I would binge 1-2 days a week. Even though it wasn’t a lot it was very damaging. That insanity quote from rehab kept running through my mind and tugging on my heart. IT WAS NOT GOING TO CHANGE! I have a great support group around me and found an awesome therapist. I’m very grateful to have found this group as well!!
Well keep up the good work Joyw4👍 it’s totally worth it!!
I contemplated a couple weeks ago to have a shot of fireball and a Bud Light you know just a Couple to get a little buzz like everyone else… then something else was telling me…
don’t do it
do not do it!!
So I went & found something else to do and I didn’t do it:nerd_face: I’m really glad:wink: I have been sober for 17 months , five days and I still have to talk myself out of it …A lot of my old friends still drink so that is kind of tough but I making new friends that do not drink or don’t care if I don’t:grin: It’s been working really well!
One of the hardest things for me to accept is that I can never drink again. It’s NEVER just one and I find myself wasted and hating myselfnthe next day, unable to control the anxiety and crying because again, I failed.
Wow yep this post. Such a good reminder. I was really close to trying to drink beer again yesterday. Took kratom instead and had no desire.
But no, here we are, day 133. Even with that October follow up I still drank until December 3rd.