So, my last drink was on Christmas Eve. Feeling good. Great, actually! But I’ve yet to discuss my quitting with my family. I live with one adult son, my husband lives in San Diego for now for a job (I live in Chicago). Just spent the long weekend in SD, planned to talk with hubby about it, and totally didnt. We went out and did our normal stuff, and I didn’t drink wine. He obviously has noticed I’m not drinking, but… I don’t know. Am I weird or something? Our relationship is fine, just different with the distance obviously. I feel like I should “confess”, but then really want to keep it to myself.
You’ve done something great - don’t feel bad about it. You’ve realised drink is camouflaged poison and you’ve stopped poisoning yourself. Stopped hangovers, headaches, queasiness, tiredness, time off work, time when you can’t enjoy family, you’re bored of it, you quit drinking, you don’t like the taste anymore, you’re concerned for your health… and that’s just for starters!
Don’t feel uncomfortable about doing a good thing.
I agree with @Charlesfreck you have nothing to confess. Tell people even your husband whatever, or nothing, main priority is focus on your sobriety. Everyone else will benefit from it!
I do not discuss quitting with anybody outside this forum. I am very proud of myself for being strong enough to quit but very ashamed that I had a problem to begin with. When other people pressured me into quitting i never stuck with it because I wanted to drink. This time is for me alone and it’s working. I don’t lie if asked but I do not offer any info freely.
Ive told about 5 close friends about me not drinking and taking drugs other than that its nothing to do with anyone, when your ready you will tell them until then keep up the good work
I think this a personal decision. There’s no right or wrong way. I told everyone close to me because I needed to be accountable…not one foot in and one foot out of recovery.
My husband knows I’m not drinking but I haven’t told him why beyond I’m trying to be healthier. Which is true but not the whole truth.
@Charlesfreck, your words really did me good! Thank you!
@JohnSee, thank you for your support! You are absolutely right. They are all benefitting whether they know why or not.
@Sparky, you hit a nerve with me on that feeling ashamed. I do want this for me, and feel uneasy voicing it outside my own head. Thank you.
@Nutty41, thanks for the encouragement!
@Melrm, thank you. Still so new to me, who knows what I need, you know?
@VSue, seems similar. I just don’t want to feel I am somehow lying to my family, by omission, you know? For now, it will just have to be. Thanks for your reply.
Just keep remembering you’ve done something incredibly positive! - maybe couch it in that way with your family if you feel the need to tell them?
'I’m sick of drinking, it’s basically a poison and I’ve had enough of it, so I’ve done something really brave, I’ve stopped, and I feel great!'
All true, and not a negative in sight.
Whatever you eventually decide will be the right thing - because you’re sober!
I always feel like keeping it to myself until I can sort it out in my own head. I havnt really got there yet.
The main thing is to stop drinking. you wont die from not telling your husband, family something like this. i know families should tell each things but especially if your husband lives elsewhere it might make him worry. Just concentrate on not drinking for now