I was so happy I could join this community. I was so confident. But I couldnāt spend 2 days without masturbating. I just did it. I feel like Iām a piece of crap, Iām so ashamed.
It always happens when Iām about to sleep. I fought it for an hour, but I caved.
Honey, please donāt make it so hard on yourself. You are at the beginning of a difficult time where sometimes these things happen. Iām sure you can trust yourself and know that at the end of the tunnel, light shines. SUCCESS 
Just keep at it. Find some of those people who share your addiction and maybe reach out to them via the message function. I canāt help with what to do. I can only say that youāre here and that counts. You are not a piece of crap. You are battling an addiction and it will be a fight. We donāt always win every fight but we can still look at winning the war. Keep on fighting!
That is very common for those of us recovering from porn and masturbation addiction. I used to use it to get to sleep. Those times at night - or when alone at home with an unmonitored device; for me a big thing was my personal smartphone, so I traded it in for a flip phone - those times when youāre alone and waiting, or maybe doing something & youāre bored or frustrated - those times are hard.
First: you are not alone. There are a lot of us here (and a lot around the world) who are going / have been going through the same struggles. In my own case a big, big help was when I realized I couldnāt do it alone. I needed support from others also in recovery from this. I searched up and found a sex addiction recovery clinic in my city. Neal made a really good post of resources here:
Your addiction behaviour is there because there is something out of alignment at the moment. You have the power to work on the problem, and to change it. A significant help, is to find people who can accompany you through recovery. Do you have a group or a centre you can go to?
Doing some cleanup so as not to distract from the intended topic.
7 posts were merged into an existing topic: Derailment Graveyard
Thank you guys for that. @Jake18, I get that youāre just trying to nice. I can get through all my activities just fine but my mind and my body suffers, itās not about ādoing stuffā and get through the day. Itās not pleasant for me. The problem is that I canāt say no, thatās not a person who has it "under control ".
Shame is a difficult feeling but youāve done the right thing by being vulnerable and by deciding to share your struggle with us. Glad youāre here and let us know if we can help!
Itās hard I aināt gonna lie. I am 1 month and a half sober. Let me tell you right now with my girl at work do I, yes I do but I aināt going to do it start all over sucks. Good luck you got this just stop being bored, do something lol. I know itās harder said than done.
@livep9 thank you for the support. I hope I can get to a month like you did. I couldnāt get through 15 days since I started doing it 2 years ago. But Iāll get there 
Just take it one day at a timeā¦ sooner or later not doing it will be a new normalā¦ deffintenly not easy but you can do itā¦ figure out whats triggering the cravings then try your best to prevent. When all else fails mind over matter. Remember why your on this path. Let that guide you through this journey.