# I don’t know how to deal with the shame and embarrassment
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097
**Category:** Your Story
**Tags:** check-in, alcohol, mental-health, sobriety
**Created:** [July 22, 2026, 4:32pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097 "2026-07-22T16:32:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 8
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Bossay007](https://talkingsober.com/u/Bossay007)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 4:32pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/1 "2026-07-22T16:32:35Z")
Last night, I drank heavily because I was overwhelmed by work stress. While I was intoxicated, I went on WhatsApp and Twitter and posted things that I regretted when I woke up this morning.
This has become a pattern for me whenever I drink, and it’s one of the biggest reasons I’m trying so hard to quit alcohol completely.
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar. How do you cope with the shame afterward? More importantly, what has helped you stop alcohol from leading you back into this cycle?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through this. Thank you.
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### Author:  [@Mno](https://talkingsober.com/u/Mno)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 4:43pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/2 "2026-07-22T16:43:58Z")
> [@Bossay007](#):
>
> I drank heavily because I was overwhelmed by work stress.
What you need is a mind shift. You need to change your thinking. You need to get the idea out of your head that alcohol helps with anything. Because it doesn’t. As you see yourself, alcohol leads to our ruin. That’s because we’re addicted to the stuff. You didn’t drink because of the work stress, you drank because you thought alcohol would help you deal with it.
We’re addicted because we don’t see any other way of dealing with the stressors of life. I’m telling you there are other, much better ways. It does take work. We need our peers. So we need to find our peers somewhere. I found ‘m here, but it might be in a face to face or other meeting online. Many groups and possibilities possible. We need to work on other coping mechanisms. We need to be ruthlessly honest., with ourselves in the first place.
No shameful acts when you don’t drink. So there’s the solution for that. Know you can do this. I did it, and many of us here did. And we’re nothing special, we’re just a bunch of addicts who decided that enough was enough. You can do it too. Wishing you all success friend. One day at a time for all of us.
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### Author:  [@Promilla1987](https://talkingsober.com/u/Promilla1987)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 4:53pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/3 "2026-07-22T16:53:46Z")
Hello there!
Well, your post sounds like a big part of my story too.
I did the same thing over and over again. Almost everytime I drank I contacted people via whatsapp or instagram… exes, colleagues, friends from school… it was not always a nice chat. Sometimes i was very unpolite, brought up topics that leads to discussions… i got very mean sometimes!
Mostly I got blackout drunk so I couldnt even remember most of the things the next day!
I was and i am so ashamed of those things…i broke up contact with most of those people. I deleted social media 10 days ago (i am 10 days sober)
I want to make a big detox in my life… i dont want to run away from the things i did and said, I apologized already but i dont want to feel that way anymore ever again.
I totally understand you, you are NOT ALONE!
A lot of us did things like that bc we have simply no control when we drink.
Dont beat yourself up now… i have to say its not such a big deal for them like its for you (my experience)
Say sorry if necessary and try looking into the future and what you can do better for the people arround you and YOURSELF 💛
Be strong, i know its bad now to deal with, but its not the end of the world…you are still a good person !
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### Author:  [@Bossay007](https://talkingsober.com/u/Bossay007)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 6:25pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/4 "2026-07-22T18:25:49Z")
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It honestly made me feel less alone. Reading your experience was like reading parts of my own.The blackouts are what scare me the most because I sometimes don’t even remember what I said until I wake up and check my phone. The shame can be overwhelming but your reminder that it’s a bigger deal in my head than it is to most people really helped.
Congratulations on your 10 days sober. I’m rooting for you and I hope we both never have to wake up with that feeling again. One day at a time.
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### Author:  [@Bossay007](https://talkingsober.com/u/Bossay007)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 6:28pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/5 "2026-07-22T18:28:26Z")
Thank you for writing this. What stood out most was your point that I didn’t drink because of work stress,I drank because I thought alcohol would help me cope. That really hit me.
You’re right that it never actually solved anything. It only gave me a short escape and then made things worse.
I’m still learning healthier ways to deal with stress and I appreciate the reminder that recovery is possible and I’m not alone. One day at a time.
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### Author:  [@erntedank](https://talkingsober.com/u/erntedank)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 7:05pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/7 "2026-07-22T19:05:20Z")
Welcome 🌻
> [@Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers](https://talkingsober.com/t/frequently-asked-questions-about-sobriety-for-newcomers/32401):
>
> Below is a list of common questions that newcomers to the community ask. This FAQ is a Wiki and is maintained by our long term community members. Anyone of Trust level 3 and higher can edit and contribute to this. Advice for the newcomer [Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser](https://talkingsober.com/t/advice-for-the-newcomer-and-constant-relapser/11064) ([What's YOUR plan?](https://talkingsober.com/t/whats-your-plan/177233)) ([Different Aspects of Recovery](https://talkingsober.com/t/different-aspects-of-recovery/6571)) [Resources for our recovery](https://talkingsober.com/t/resources-for-our-recovery/52812) ([What was anyone’s experience in the first month of sobriety?](https://talkingsober.com/t/what-was-anyone-s-experience-in-the-first-month-of-sobriety/83444)) ([Tips for getting and staying sober](https://talkingsober.com/t/tips-for-getting-and-staying-sober/71003)) ([Good riddance to hangovers! …](https://talkingsober.com/t/good-riddance-to-hangovers-and-other-things-i-dont-miss/60887)
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### Author:  [@PinkFirefly](https://talkingsober.com/u/PinkFirefly)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 7:09pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/8 "2026-07-22T19:09:38Z")
@Mno’s answer was SPOT ON. Once you find other ways to relieve stress that don’t involve using substances, you actually become better at handling stress! Every morning when you wake up and know you don’t have to worry about anything you said while under the influence you can be proud of yourself and the work you are doing.
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### Author:  [@Promilla1987](https://talkingsober.com/u/Promilla1987)
#### Post date: [July 22, 2026, 7:09pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-don-t-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-and-embarrassment/209097/9 "2026-07-22T19:09:58Z")
Youre right: one day at a time! 🙂
Dont let the mistakes from the past define you as a person. You are much more than a drunk text message or a post on social media. We are all humans and you can make a fresh start everyday when you wake up.
Choose your true self 🙂 all the best!