Over the last few years, I’ve followed a set pattern,
Work, home, wine, clean, sleep, wake up
I’m getting a hang of the the work and home part but I can’t seem to wrap my head around getting used to cleaning without being drunk…
For a long time, I haven’t been able to go out and let off steam (full time son) so I let off steam by dancing around drunk and cleaning… and I’m ashamed to admit that it was definitely my favourite part.
Anyone ever go to through anything similar and how you changed your routine?
Doing the dishes is always hard sober, not physically but mentally because I haven’t been sober and done the dishes in many years and I can’t seem to get over the stress of doing the dishes… I feel so silly typing this but I’ve been making a note on my triggers and have done some really hard thinking! Today was a dishes day and I could feel my body wanting to put on shoes to walk to the shop… so INSTEAD I told myself I wasn’t going to do the dishes and went for a run, worked a charm.
About to go clean now only because it’s too late for me to go to the shop near mine but I don’t want to live that way forever.
I used to get home, make a big strong vodka drink, put on some music, and play a bit of FIFA (soccer video game).
When I quit, music and FIFA no longer felt fun.
Eventually, they WERE fun again. It just takes time. One must relearn how to do things we’d always done, but without our substance of choice. It will be uncomfortable at first, if only because of the change in routine (I’m huge on routine) – but once you get used to your routine NOT having alcohol in it – things start to fall back into place.
Replace son with son and daughter, and cleaning with cooking and you are me. I made a nice tea, or special coffee, has to feel like a treat, to replace the wine. And for a while I sucked it up and I cooked without music. But it only has to be temporary. Last night I made pasta, PASTA, sans wine, boogieing (not sure the sp of gerund of boogie) to the Talking Heads! It can be done once u break the habit!
Thank you everyone! Never realise how engrained something is until you have to figure how to do things without it… maybe that’s why my house is constantly messy now when it used to be in pretty good shape So I didn’t do the dishes but I did do the laundry… I’ll take the mess over blacking out while I’m cleaning!!!
And I’ve just found a good podcast about habits and how they’re formed (& broken) for a little bit more of an understanding!
One dish at a time, eventually the kitchen will be clean!
I couldn’t figure out how to do most things in my life without drinking. I couldn’t cook, talk on the phone, watch TV, clean, mow the yard, read a book…all those things required a drink in my hand.
For me, it took learning to ask for help. I had to learn to reach out when the cravings were bad. I had to find new routines - my evening bath with all the candles and bath salts and music being one of them. I had to change my routines - not easy to do with two little children. I checked in here multiple times a day. I spent a lot of time in my garden. I walked miles and miles. I regained my love of music. In short, I had to find things that kept me grounded enough to keep the anxiety at bay.
I’m glad you are here. It isn’t easy, but it is so very worth it.
I had a similar Robles where I didn’t know how to do ANYTHING without a drink in my hand.
Cooking
Cleaning playing with kids
Riding bikes
Watching tv
Hanging with wife
Walking dog
Going to work
Sex
I literally mean everything in my life revolved around having a vodka and energy drink cocktail in my hand. So when I gave up drinking I was completely lost on how to do these things without drinking.
There was some serious mourning going on. Like I lost my best friend or something.
In the beginning I knew that I had to figure this out. Drinking was not an option for me. Period. So I needed something. My answer was a whole bunch of La Croixs and AA meetings. About a 12 pack a day and a meeting a day got me through that first 9O days.
I put the la croix on ice in a big sippy cup. Just like I used to make my cocktails in. I always had one on hand. This helped me sooooooo much. Kept my hands busy.
My routine was w pain meds and my schedule Monday through Friday for three years was to pop between 1-3 10mg norcos an hour into my route (pool service and only on workdays ) and it gave me a mild high but I had tons of energy and actually enjoyed my job. Did that for three years . Got off in December and I’m back at my same job but it hasn’t been easy doing it straight . Get so use to the routine and relying on stuff to make you feel better . I do miss having that as an aid but I definitely would prefer to be clean how I am an not stress about how to get pills, feel guilty about being on them and worry how to get off them and keep it a secret from everyone . It takes time to adjust I’ve learned but it’s possible
So I didn’t do the dishes but I did do the laundry… I’ll take the mess over blacking out while I’m cleaning!!!
