I dont know why

I relapses over a week ago but I have this urge to relapse again because last time I didn’t get the full experience of breaking a razor. And here I am now staring at my scars and contemplating if itsworth it. Part of me knows it isn’t but then why do I feel like this. I managed to go 10 months before. I feel like all that knowledge is gone.

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Hi Keekers,
I have no experience with this behavior, but I do know the pull of addiction, particularly early on. I’m going to tag @CapriciousCapricorn and @Girlinterrupted for specific self-harm experience. Blessings on you :pray: