I don't trust my brain at all tonight

Right now my brain is telling me a beer or two is ok. A part of me is finding this repeated argument convincing. I play roller derby and tonight was my first practice after a two month hiatus. I almost always have a beer in the shower after practice. I’m usually amped up when I get home and that was my go to for winding down. I have to add that on one of my benders last month I spilled beer on the floor and it got on my wrist guards which now stink off beer. I had to smell in the whole drive home. I was naive to think practice wouldn’t be a trigger for me. I felt I needed to tell on myself instead of continuing to allow my brain to make its convincing argument. If my brain would get its life together that would be great. I hope everyone is going strong and had a great day in sobriety! Thanks for letting me vent.


Roller derby is amazing! I always wanted to do it. You must be some kinda bad ass. ^.^ As a chef i totally get that notion of having a beer to wind down. Theres always that residual bit of adrenal left after pumping out food from a grill at crazy speed for 2-3 hrs straight. The anticipated whisky or beer would always get me through thw shift but then the next day wouldnt be so great cuz theres no such thing as just one pff. Lol consider that youll have more energy to put into your sport. Cardio curbs cravings. Also definitely soak you pads over night cuz thats just the pits. I lost a good pillow to an IPA one night…still slept on it but yea yaknow… im ten days and im right here with ya lady


@Leelee77 try to think instead of how you’ll feel tomorrow morning. How much it will suck to reset and lose all your hard work. It’s not worth it!!!


Oh my gosh you should try it!! I did not know how to skate when I first started a few years ago. It’s a lot of fun if you don’t mind taking hits from people and giving hits. Hardly a bad ass but being short helps me with my speed and dodging hits. :wink:
I worked in a restaurant and the kitchen would be absolutely insane for the cooks during dinner shifts. Go go go!! You understand how it gets after a night of craziness. Thank you for responding. I’m very good at keeping secrets when it comes to my drinking. I have the house to myself all night and my dude would never know if I got drunk. I would know, and I’d hate myself. An IPA is exactly what spilled! Always my go to beer. Those stinky bastard wrist guards are now soaking in the sink! Congrats on 10 days! Keep staying strong, and thank you again for responding @Nughiem!

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I don’t want to reset. :frowning: It’s absolutely insane how a split second can change my mind and take my eye off the prize. I’m super, SUPER, grateful that this app is available because if I didn’t tell on myself about where my head was at I don’t know if being in my bed with my two jerk face cats right now is where I’d be at the moment. Thank you for the smack of reality I needed @Elisabeth! :blush::purple_heart: I hope you had a wonderful day!


I got pretty close. Where i live there is Suburbia roller derby. Work kept from getting into it. Im creating a new life for myself now. Ive been out of the kitchen for 3yrs now which has helped cut back my drinking a ton. Im a cheesemonger and aspiring cheese maker. Maybe i can finally scrounge up some bucks for some skates and join a league. I forget what the position is called but the chick who makes the points, thats the spot id want cuz im tiny and super fast.

Thisll tickle you: my gm and i were joking about starting a team and calling it the Rind Sniffers cuz cheesemongers are punny. My name would be Tiny Wraith (play on Halo tank).

Anyone who roller derbies is a bad ass and ya dont need an IPA to cement that fact.

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HAH! That team name is amazing!! That derby name = bad assery x 10! My friend skated with Suburbia. She moved out to Los Angeles and now skates with another league. Suburbia is a great league! There are some good beginner skates from Reidell, R3’s I think. Those aren’t too expensive.
I’m a fan of your creating a new life @Nughiem . How rad is that to make cheese? Do it! :smile:
I too drank a lot when I worked in a restaurant. I was on the cocktail waitress side of things. Towards the end I started drinking during my shifts just to get through the night. I don’t miss it!
The skater position you’re thinking of is called the jammer. It’s so satisfying to get by blockers who think they can crush you. Might be just the position for you!

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Well done for ‘telling on yourself’ or rather the little devil in your brain who’s trying to trip you up.

I had a similar day on Monday.It was one of my paydays and I would usually head straight to the pub ‘for a couple’. It was a tough day, spent arguing with myself.

If it helps to know though, I woke up Tuesday sober and fresh and strangely energised. Got a million things done - including things should have been done months ago.

None of that would have happened after ‘a couple of pints on Monday’

Stay strong, you got this!


Why does the brain want to argue?!
I’m so glad you made it through Monday! Good job not heading to the pub for “a couple”. It’s a couple that can end up escalating quickly. It’s easy to forget how good it is to wake up sober and taking care of what needs to be done for the day.
Here’s to another sober day for us! Thank you for your encouragement @Zara! Very much appreciated.

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I dont remeber who said it but there was a full moon around the weekend and early week. My brain has been thirsty too.

@Leelee77 thanks for the tip on the skates. Ill def check them out. Re: restaurant work and drinking: Feed the bartender, get free drinks, end the shift go to the bar. Passout, wake up, do it again.

In 2015 i dedicated myself to occupying my time with healthier social alternatives to sitting at a bar. I have found physical activity to be the best solution. Maybe when you get cravings do some yoga. Itll be easier to shed some beer pounds while youre getting it out of your system too. That helps with building self confidence and esteem to be strong enough to say no. Its always easier to have a drink when we arent totaly happy with ourselves or situations. Workin out like a prison inmate to keep the mind sharp and the body tight. Also exercise = endorphins. We like those.

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I know right?! The mind can be our own worst enemy, and the internal arguments so draining.
Ugh! The joys of being human eh.

But we are strong, we want to fight this, and we will fight this! We will do it together :sparkling_heart:

Happy sober day to you!

Sending you all strength and positive thoughts for the day ahead.

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Thank you @Nughiem @Oliverjava @Zara! I went to bed sober and woke up sober. Now I’m at work able to make through the work day fully focused. I hope everyone is having a good day!! :grin: