So I’m at a point where I dont feel like working the steps. I know I should. But I dont want to drink and I know I can stay sober. I haven’t called my sponsor but I’ve been going to meetings. IDK. What do y’all think?
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Well, there’s more roads that lead to Rome. I never did the steps and I’m closing in on 7 years of clean and sober.
However, I did put in a lot of work in my re/discovery. I went into therapy, I’ve been here each and every day, I changed my friends, changed my work.
Sobriety is just the basis. Sobriety made it possible to change my life. I needed to build myself a life I didn’t feel the need to run from. How about you friend?
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I was kinda half-assing the steps until some serious life issues came out that caused a lot of pain. I got a new sponsor and focused on my step work. I’d say it was a top 3 thing that contributed to my sobriety.
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I went to a meeting last night where a guy picked up his 24 year coin. Even though he didnt drink he said his recover began 2 years ago when he worked the steps. He also gave a lot of credit to service work.
It was a good meeting.
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Maybe you’re not ready to work the steps yet. I never wanted to work the steps other than 1, 2 and 3. Those are some great steps. And I guess 11 and 12. Meditation and helping other addicts. I think 
not like working working them. But I do them and it’s kept me sober.
Going to meetings. Sharing vulnerably from my heart and helping other addicts keeps me sober. And meditation.
I know a lot of people that do step work and it’s the foundation of their recovery and they stay sober. Lots of people.
Whether you do the steps or not. Just don’t pick up that first drink.
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8 years, 5 months, 22 days of sobriety. I’ve never been to a meeting or worked a formal program. I have reserved meetings, programs, sponsors and steps as an escalation point, should I begin approaching relapse. So, in a way, I am using these recovery tools. They are in a glass case marked “break in case of relapse”
My regimen has been one of stoicism, practicing martial arts, prayer and meditation. It’s worked for me, and I will keep on this disciplined track, unless and until it ceases to be effective.
Then I will go to a meeting, and work the steps, on top of all the other things I do.
What I am trying to say is it sounds like the things you are doing that have brought you this far might need something more. Don’t stop doing those things. Find something to add to.
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I suppose two questions are why don’t you want to work the steps? Are you doing anything instead of working the steps?
In terms of question 1, do you dislike the religious angle? There are agnostic rewritings thst may help you. Do you just dislike the structure? In which case, fine, but you probably will need to do something else instead (like Mno or Yoda+Stevie). Some of the steps are very useful self-knowledge and self-improvement tools, and many people in recovery do similar things even if not in AA (via therapy, self-help books). These are things that don’t really happen in meetings.
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i sponsor guys through the 12 step program have done now for decades while you do them or not your decision for me they helped me in my journey since 1986 wish you well
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Thank you for your comment. I was born in 85. I think i can do without the steps but I do need the fellowship that is AA. Maybe you’d be OK with us talking every once and a while. I can always do with the wisdom of an old drunk.
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When I got sober, my sponsor gave me three instructions.
Call him every day, pray every day for help to stay sober and to give thanks for another day sober, and read “Step One” in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions every day. And here is the half paragraph that cut through my bullshit excuses whining about how I didn’t need to work the steps.
…the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is
still drinking can dream of taking. Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn’t care for this prospect—unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself.
Those last 6 words were absolutely true for me - I was killing myself slowly, with occasional car wrecks sprinkled in there to remind me that I could get dead a lot faster also.
Similar to @JasonFisher, I recall hearing a guy share at a meeting that he was sober 20 years. The guy said he had never worked the steps. Then he said he wanted to kill himself. I put two and two together pretty quickly after hearing that.
You say you are going to meetings - are they literature meetings, discussion meetings, or the ones I think do a disservice to AA, the big speaker meetings where there is little to no opportunity for a member to truly participate and share? And if you say you have a sponsor but do not call or see that person, then you do not have a sponsor.
AA offers a program of action to get and stay sober. Not a coffee klatsch or a social club. Not a magic phrase or an attendance checkmark in a roll book. A program of action requires you to take action in order to get the benefits it provides.
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I don’t do the steps. I tried 2 different AA meetings - they are not for me. Today is my 911 day sober, and I feel great. I went to rehab only once for 1 week in the beginning of my journey and since then I work with a physiotherapist.
I dont think that if some people dont do the steps they are not able to be clean and strong. Some people cant be sober without the AA meetings and steps but some people can be clean without these things.
Find some hobbies and maybe speak more often about your journey.
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For myself, I was 2 years sober when I started working the steps. I thought it was kind of silly to do so, because I had no problem staying sober and didn’t want to drink-but I had noticed my life hadn’t really changed a whole lot otherwise. I was still making the same mistakes in life-particularly noticeably around relationships and my thinking.
I finally saw that I was the ONLY common denominator, but had no idea what to do about that. My own best thinking clearly wasn’t working and didn’t get me anywhere good.
So I prayed. I asked whoever was out there listening-my dad, ancestors, angels, god, etc to help me find the best way forward.
And by a whole divine orchastration, the very next morning the hand of AA reached out to me, I had a sponsor and began working the steps.
At first, I said no when I was reached out to. I wanted to hold onto my own BS that was keeping me from progressing. I had to really find the willingness to say yes-but that yes literally changed EVERYTHING!
My life is vastly different than it was. And it’s improved in SOOOOO many ways! The steps aren’t a one and done thing for me-I keep working with my sponsor on things that come up in my life and we apply the steps to them for the highest and greatest outcome.
This is just my own path, but my thought was-what do I have to lose? If I could find the willingness to honestly and sincerely work them and they didn’t work-I wasn’t losing anything. I’d still gain some insight from it. But they seriously changed everything for me, from the inside out.
As my insides changed, my outer world changed and it continues to do so as I am finally truly working on my recovery-not just staying sober. There was a BIG difference in that for me within the quality of my life. And honestly, the steps are likely the only reason I’ve continued to stay sober and free for 3005 days now. It works if I keep working it. 
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No problem my friend
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I started step work the first time I got sober.
It wasn’t for me. It wasn’t what I needed and how I wanted to continue with my path in sobriety. This is absolutely your own choice to make.
I definitely commend those that choose that way and the help its givin them.
I did have a sponsor that also maintained that position for me even when I fell off. Hes still a good friend and someone I can still choose to call if I need to. .
I dont do meetings nor work the steps. I have struggled on and off. But thats ok work your sobriety the way you need.
I always know there’s a seat for me if I need it sober friends often ask me if I want to join them. Ill take up the offer at some point reshare my story. But for now im content in my life enough to do this with you guys and my irl support.
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Doing the steps with a sponsor stopped my relapse pattern and gave me a good understanding of the key paradox: we take full responsibility for ourselves by turning ourselves over to our source / Source. I am able to walk with peace and ease, and let the criticism and resentment fall both beneath my dignity and above my pay grade. To Thine Own Self be True.
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I have done the steps a number of times (i believe 2 or 3 times in AA and then once in OA). For me anyway, each time was a real eye opening experience for me. I got to see what patterns and behaviours were causing my relapses and then gave me a solution to be able to stop the relapse cycle. It showed me a solution in how to handke lifes difficulties. It got me in touch with my HP and that in itself has been life saving (not just for my addictions but also in dealing with life in general). Im grateful for the steps honestly.
I have also done recovery for a number of years without following a “program”. Actually, when i started my recovery from drugs and alcohol this time around (about 4+ years ago), i wasnt technically working a program and have managed to stay clean with the guidance of my HP, meetings, and this forum. I now belong to OA (for food issues) and just finished the steps again. I can absolutely see the difference between the 2 ways (with and without the steps). Im much more aware now of my actions and thinking, im more conscious of how I treat others and myself, my purpose in life has shifted, and im more connected to my HP.
I guess it depends on what kind of recovery ur looking for? What u want out of life? Ultimately it is up to u as its ur journey. But I would suggest tho, if ur going to work thru the steps, make sure that u find a sponsor that is a good fit for u. Thats important 
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