I relapsed on day 4 by having 2 beers after work. Ugh. I need to make new friends and take a different route home. I realize what I did and know how to correct it. Yet, I am upset with myself. I didn’t get drunk but that doesn’t mean anything. I need to start the clock over.
Reset, recommit, move forward. That’s all you can do, and that is progress.
My crazy mind is telling me “don’t re do the clock” because it wasn’t what I drink normally. The alcoholic mind is horrible and I want to be rid of it. I will restart. And I hate this burden of something that shouldn’t have control.
Progression not perfection… relapses are a part of the process of making our recovery stronger by analyzing them…perserverance will get you there… never give up!
Yes, well said. But I can’t say I am not disappointed in myself. But I will try not to let that feeling win. Tomorrow is a new day
I can understand that guilt. Today you prove your not that person anymore. Your confidence will grow. With your recovery… but we will still always have to be vigilant…if you ever feel lonely looking for sober friends AA is a great place to go and relate to people with the same problems you are…
Restart. Being honest with and accountable to yourself is the beginning of recovery.
Recognizing what led you to drink is a really good thing. Chalk it up to a learning experience and grow from it. Stay strong, you got this!
" I didn’t get drunk but that doesn’t mean anything."
It does mean something. You didn’t get drunk. You didn’t have 10 beers. Yes, you still have to reset the counter, but that doesn’t undo all the work you did before. And you reset after just 2 beers. You didn’t go on a bender, you didn’t black out or pass out or wake up in vomit or wake up next to a stranger, or drive drunk, or any of those nasty consequences of drinking too much. If this leads you to give up on Sobriety, then it’s a problem. But if you’re right back on the wagon, just keep your eyes forward and be proud of yourself for not saying “fuck it.”
Be proud that you owned up to this. Most people, with a few amazing and wonderful exceptions, never come back here. I can’t even begin to count how many people I have seen here for a few days then completely disappear. They are not strong like you! Hell, there are people who are on here for months then never come back. Reset, then move forward. Soon your achievements will completely overshadow this disappointment! But at the same time, never forget how it feels to fall off. That will help you through triggers.
Sunday afternoon , nothing special happened. But o was caught of guard … and drank. After 2 very hard weeks , I felt horrible , so disappointed on my self I really wanted this to work , I fail my self , my husband , my kids …
and I wasn’t even drunk but who cares ? It’s only a matter of time if I continue to drink… I immediately
reset it and stared over on Monday so here I go again. Is incredible how week My mind is about alcohol and I forget how bad it was and as soon as I feel a little better I think I can control it.
Sorry guys I hope this time I can make it !
Exactly what I said above to you as well. You are stronger than you know!
I had my first relapse not that long ago as well. I know, it feels awful to have to reset that clock! But part of this process is not letting the relapses knock you down forever. We get back up, we persist, and we win.
Your self awareness is awesome, and will serve you well
Just pick yourself back up, and keep on keeping on with the evolution of self
Fall down five times, get up six…or seven…or eight. Just keep getting up.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Be sober and alert. You adversary is prowling like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
@Ninetales you are right. But after 6 years of drinking becoming sober means I can only do so by cold turkey. I seem strong by saying I left at two beers but that doesn’t mean I wanted 20. I almost bought a 12 pack coming home but my saving grace was not having my debit card on me. Some higher power is working against me. And I have no problem with that
It’s ok! You can do it! Relapses teach us so much. Good on you for coming here and being honest.