108 days without alcohol today. It’s something I’m proud of for sure. I was hoping I’d feel better. I feel more of a loser than ever! I mean some really good things have happened and my loved ones are happy for me. I’m just not happy for me. Looking back at how much of my life I’ve waisted and holy fuck… what the fuck was I doing? It’s so frustrating and embarrassing!!! My 20s was a complete waist of time. Miraculously I stayed out of jail. I’ve been thinking about drinking a lot this last week. A little self sabotage. Forget about how ridiculous I am and be someone else.
I am grateful too guys… I have a great job that I’m so lucky to have because of my drinking history and my 2 year old daughter. I’m living a much healthier lifestyle. Anyways thought I’d come on here and rant a little because like I mentioned earlier I’ve been thinking about drinking again and have it “under control “
Please don’t waste the 108 days sober you have managed. I am in awe of that. The most I have manage was 28. You would only feel numb for a short while and would have wasted all that hard work and it IS hard. I’m struggling right now with anxiety but determined not to give in. Since October I’ve only managed 5/6 days at a stretch. Be proud and hold onto that .
Dude you’re killing it with 120!! We all have moments of “remembering” what we were like while using. I was a shell of a person. Your daughter is so lucky to have a parent who is fully “present” now while she grows up. Great job!!
Nothing was wasted, life has brought you to this point and that was the way it was supposed to happen. You’ve prepared for this sobriety your whole life, now you get to use it and excel at it.
Congrats on the 108, that’s no small number to someone with a drink problem.
You know it’ll never be under control, so accept it and the gift you’ve given yourself. Each day we get better at being ourselves so let’s not take today for granted.