I’ve been addicted to pormography for 9 years (I’m 20 now) and I’m losing hope. I’m starting to think ill never get out of it. I’m starting to doubt my faith in God, and in my ability to do anything good.
I feel like a horrible person. I’ve done things ill regret for the rest of my life. I’m terrified if I ever get a girlfriend she’ll be appaled at the things I’ve done. Its hard for me to see myself in a relationship without this tearing it apart.
I need help in any way you can provide. I just need to talk…
@Matt is an amazing friendly brother who’s also has great knowledge and life experiences with this addiction great man to talk with.hi and a warm welcome.
I second what Emm says. @Matt pretty cool.
I’ll just say this though.
Coming here and admitting your addiction takes a lot of courage. Just like everyone on here. Well done and welcome.
Read around, any addiction can leave us feeling the same way.
Learning to live with ourselves, love ourselves is as much a part of the journey as is actually stopping using our drug of choice.
Hi Caleb, my name is Matt and I’m a recovering pornography and masturbation addict.
I hear you brother. The rabbit’s hole of porn twists down into places that shock the hell out of you. And the grip it holds on the watchers, especially people like us who develop an addiction, is painful to experience. It’s heart-wrenching.
There’s a lot to unpack about porn and masturbation addiction, but let me start by reassuring you on two things:
You’re not a bad person. You’re a human being who’s escaping from life (complex, messy, scary life & emotions) through addiction like so many addicts before you have done. Eventually though all addicts realize addiction is terrible. You’ve realized that. You’re on the first step to recovery.
Don’t worry about girlfriends for the moment. It’s too early. You have stuff to sort out on your own, as an individual - to stand, independent and sober, and be steady and calm in yourself first. You have to be comfortable and happy living with no girlfriend, before you can really make a relationship work. It’ll take time. (But just so you know, your history here doesn’t mean you’ll never have a girlfriend. Your work getting sober, and living a true, sober life, will develop strength and wisdom in you that your future girlfriend will value greatly. Take my word for it. (Trust me. I’ve got a few years on you brother ))
I’ve added you to the private male porn/masturbation/sex addicts thread. Accept the invitation to the thread, and read around. You’ll see in the stories there, so much that you relate to. You are not alone.
Also - read up a bit on porn addiction. The book Your Brain on Porn is a good start. There are others as well. Try to stick to books that are well researched.
It is 100% possible to recover. As you’ll commonly hear, it’s simple, but not easy; recovery takes effort and persistence. But it is so, so worth it. It is like waking up from a nightmare, and you find your true power, and it’s so much better than what you had.
What can you do to keep yourself safe? Where/what are the places and tools that you can change, to keep yourself safe in early sobriety?
Resources and support groups for recovery from porn / masturbation / sex / love addiction:
For me, joining a recovery group at a sex addiction clinic in my city made a huge difference. I could speak with other men who had been through the same thing. We learned how to understand and manage our addiction, and how to live healthy, happy, sober lives.
You are definitely not alone. There are many other people, both men and women, recovering from this. And recovery is possible.
Hi Matt, my name is Tola, I’m also 20years old lol. I just began my journey on breaking my masturbation addiction. I came across this post as I was reading through people’s stories and I was wondering if I could join the private thread for male porn addiction
Fellow porn addict here. I know a lot of people w multiple addictions and it seems like the general consensus is that porn is tougher to kick than other addictions even though it isn’t necessarily the most destructive. It’s a real problem though and yah your girlfriend won’t satisfy you if you are using porn regularly, no matter who she is. I agree that this helps but you need to join a 12 step sex addiction or sexaholics program and have a sponsor and maybe other accountability partners to maximize your chances of recovery. I also don’t have a personal computer at home and have a porn blocker on my phone.
Took me until age 42 to attend my first meeting. Porn ruined my sex life and intimacy until then. Had one brief gf (just jerked off all through college and grad school) before I met my wife at age 30 and then porn ruined my marriage.
))