I have an urge to drink and eliminate this bad feeling.
I was just eating (I’m hypoglycemic and I have to eat very often) and of course my father had to say something awful as usual. I hate when he do this basically because I’m already self-conscious about myself and hate feeling like this. I was doing great in the last days.
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It won’t make you feel better; it’s just that habit that needs to be broken. I KNOW how hard it is, truly. But consider this a test and tell it to eff off. The urge, not your father…
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In the politest way possible you can tell your father to eff off too. Let him know how it hurts. My dad used to say things to me when I was younger about not eating too much and you’re gonna get fat… Well guess who ended up anorexic for years. After I overcame that obstacle I started putting weight on!!! One day and some random comment later, I don’t know what came over me but I just had to tell him ALL of it. It was good, it was healing.
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Allow yourself to feel that feeling. Every day is not always going to be a good one. We have to learn to sit with those bad feelings and process them. I had one myself today and I just cried but I did not pick up a drink. Eventually the feeling will pass.
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I’ve been overwhelmed all day as well now I’m overwhelmed I survived it. Hope your doing OK.
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I hope you don’t drink, hope you really stop just try it see what happens you might like it
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Drink won’t support you through this, but we can try, and you can help yourself to. Do anything else BUT drink. Anything else you enjoy, fresh sheets, a cup of tea, open a window for air, write, watch your favourite film, be there for you through this 
let us know how you’re getting on
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knew u would never had a doubt 
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Thanks for all that support, it means a lot.
I’m still trying to stop myself, I don’t think I ever cried this much in my entire life, probably because for 3 years I just haven’t.
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Not sure if you’re connected to a higher power, but if you are maybe try a “God(dess) box”. It’s basically a trinket box and when you’re dealing with resentments - like how your father is treating you - you write the person’s name down on a little piece of paper, put it in the box, and turn it over to your higher power to deal with. It’s a lovely symbolic meditation.
I also highly recommend looking at the writings of Virgie Tovar. She is a radical adiopositivity activist and her work has helped me overcome my eating disorder tendencies and prejudices about fatness. You are a person worthy of love and respect, no matter your size.
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Stay strong